Husband-Wife Relationship – Each To his own

When two people, a man and a woman, become married, they become husband and wife. This is the traditional concept of marriage, the most common one that we have grown up with, isn’t it?

But even in case of unconventional and non-traditional marriages that we read and hear about in so many media channels these days, where both partners are of the same gender, it has been observed that one of them takes on the traditional role of husband as the provider; a person who takes on challenges with open arms and overcomes them to ensure that the family’s needs are fulfilled while the other partner becomes the wife, the softer part, the nurturer, who tries to do the best with whatever the family has and makes life comfortable.

A husband-wife relationship is, in fact, the most beautiful relationship that exists on earth. It is like a little plant that needs to be taken care of like a child. Through all the different seasons, day in and day out, the two people have to ensure that the plant keeps on thriving, growing, and flourishing. Their relationship must keep evolving in keeping with the changing times and ageing patterns of the 2 individuals in question. As the two people become older, this metaphorical plant changes into a tree and provides its flowers, fruits, and shade to the whole family which includes the descendants as well.

The relationship between a husband and a wife has so much to it that a huge amount of literature in all languages now exists on earth; Shakespeare’s Othello, Ramayana, etc, and more continues to be generated on this subject; this blog, for instance. It generates both negative emotions like jealousy, anger, and suspicion and positive ones of love, joy, and motivation. As time passes, the husband and wife learn to live with each other’s faults and scars. Their hot passions of younger days cool down and from the burnt coals emerges that perfect understanding, that intangible, beautiful ‘something’ that poets describe as true love…

This might sound like an overgeneralization as no two individuals are the same. When people get married, they carry their own perceptions about what they think marriage should be and these perceptions are based on their own observations of the way their parents led their lives as married people. If you look closely, you will see that children from broken families also sometimes end up being unhappy in marriage.

Well, whatever the case may be, if you are married, you must allow ‘spaces in your togetherness’ as advised by Kahlil Gibran, a Lebanese poet, in one of his poems. But like all advices, even this poem needn’t be followed religiously as dissolving self for the other person, eating from the same loaf, and drinking from the same cup may sound like better options in some cases. Well, each to his own, as long as everyone is happy and content in marriage…

For those of you who are married, wish you all great, happy married lives ahead…