When I was giving my board exams I would pray to God that keep “my examiners’ mind calm and peaceful and he should not have fought with his wife so that he can give me good marks.” Nevertheless, I topped my board exams but I never understood the logic behind my prayers. But now as a grown-up, I got the logic of happy marriages.
Marriage is a very ethereal relationship where not only people but two families are involved so it becomes very much important plus difficult sometimes, to take it to eternity. So for happy marriage secret ingredient is intimacy. So let’s talk about it.
Intimacy is a secure emotional connection that lets free to be a wonderfully strange self and when you remind your partner that how much you love those parts that they don’t show the world, the deeper our connection becomes.
Emotional and physical intimacy involves sharing something deeply personal. Opening up can only foster intimacy. So go first. Keep in mind the principle of I’ll show you mine you- show-me-your-situation because it is very important to give first if you want to get.
Long conversations on life, love, money, career, future, fantasy and much more can help in developing intimacy because you’ll get to know each other better. Expressing gratitude, helping your partner in achieving their goals and dreams and not focusing on what you want from them, knowing what they actually want from life, lending an ear sometimes and not fixing the problem makes them feel connected to you and talking about your darkest secrets can help you develop an intimacy that too strong one. Nothing builds intimacy between a couple more than to open up and share with each others’ surrendering moments. When each of them knows that they had fallen in love with each other.
Expressing how you felt as a child and things that hurt you when you were young gifts your partner a real insight into what shaped you as an adult. That understanding of how you felt in good times and bad times as a kid really allows your partner to see your vulnerabilities.
If you can share your own vulnerabilities and your partner is still there, and in fact, becomes more closed will be the best thing ever happened to you. The sharing of one’s vulnerability can keep all kinds of intimacy in your relationship- romantic, sexual, spiritual, psychological and intellectual. Don’t fall for fear of losing someone only for sharing your vulnerability. If sharing your vulnerability results in falling apart of your marriage, then there wasn’t that much of a marriage, to begin with, and you just saved yourself from time waste.
Focusing your attention on each other in such a basic step which leads to greater trust and communication. Discussing your romance can be the best conversations to have as a couple it’s just about how they feel about each other. Asking questions and discussing self-improvement can also be a great help.
Intimacy is classified into three parts: Physical (seduce my body), intellectual( seduce my brain) and emotional ( seduce my heart). You need the entire PIE, no just piece of it. Keeping expectations in check, having a fight and writing letters to reconcile makes a marriage honest and transparent and help in developing a happy marriage.