5 secret tips to get better at long-distance relationships

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You were perfect together-completely enjoying each other’s company and admiration, going out on dates regularly and were about to propose to each other.
Suddenly, you received the shock of your life when you found that your partner would have to leave you and settle in a different country owing to their job transfer or some academic engagement.
Your story was so damn perfect until that wretched day when you had to kiss each other goodbye till God knows when…
Long-distance relationships are the most common and difficult to manage in the category of human relationships. It becomes quite the nightmare in movie style with the lovers getting separated due to unforeseen circumstances and going through great pain when they miss each other.
Staying away and staying in love is not so easy as it seems.
There are lots of tears, frustration, suspicion and that nagging fear of loneliness of the heart…
A quick look at the statistics for the number of people in long-term relationships is quite surprising.
• An estimated 14 million people have been reported to be in this type of relationship in the United States in 2018.
• Furthermore, of that 14 million, almost four to four and a half million of them are in a non-marital relationship.
• 3.75 million married couples are in a long distance relationships
• 32.5 % of all long distance relationships are college relationships most probably.
• 40 % of all long distance relationships ends with a break-up sadly due to the extra effort they require to work out
• 70 % of all failed long distance relationships fails due to unplanned changes by any or both the partners

Their numbers have been increasing steadily and the driving forces behind them are separation after college, increased internet access and online dating being the norm of the society today ,all thanks to the booming app and social media industry.

Here are seven precious tips to hold on for your dear life and improve, rather shorten the distance with your loved one.

1) Setting rules is Priority # 1

With very less time for direct communication and that touch of love, you need to clearly convey the rules and expectations to each other to prevent any hurt by surprise.
Being aware of each other’s dislikes and what is “off limits” in your relationship- going out with friends of the opposite sex late at night, not informing about any night-outs beforehand etc is a good way to prevent jealousy and suspicion from day one.
It is important to be firm, polite but passionate and considerate about each other’s likes and dislikes given the distance issue.

2) Communicate in style

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You can creatively bridge the gap using the wide options of social media apps available nowadays. Send funny and romantic gifs, greeting stickers and video call as soon as you wake up. Keeping in touch regularly, even more hourly without being too excessive is a fun way to feel connected always.
Audio message each other often to replay and listen to each other’s voice before going to bed.
Coming up with innovate styles of cheering up your loved one may strike at midnight. Just follow the voice in your head and plan out, execute that surprise.
For example, you could gang up with your common friends and plan a cool song or dance video offering them tribute and highlighting your shared moments as a fresh way of keeping that romance burning.

3) Togetherness online

This is not the situation of the bygone era where only telephones and faxes were the medium of communication. Play a game online, challenge each other with some complex Sudoku puzzles, movies or series together on YouTube or Netflix.
You can snooze while you watch or watch your partner fall asleep in front of your eyes. This is a treasure in itself for those unable to meet each other due to a stringent schedule of work or official duty commitments.

4) Surprise Visits

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What can be more exciting to your partner when they see you at their doorstep or dormitory with a bunch of roses. It is very similar to a romantic movie climax and can make an explosion of fireworks and love bombs in your heart.
It can be magical and we advise you to record your reactions on camera to relive and relish it later on.
You can even practice a drill or dance tribute with your buddies to surprise him or her on arrival. Proposing in the airport lounge , scavenger hunt, beach, in a ski lift; the possibilities are numerous.

5) A custom gift to cling on to

When the heart aches due to loneliness and you can smell your loved one with his or her perfume or favorite jacket, it is even more relieving and oddly satisfying. A wind chime, handwritten love notes, preserved red roses, origami, keychain with your selfie are some sweet ideas to gift your lovesick partner.
Ending with a really admirable quote Harriet Lerner,
“In long-term relationships … we are called upon to navigate that delicate balance between separateness and connectedness … we confront the challenge of sustaining both–without losing either.”

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Adeeba Riaz

About the Author

Adeeba Riaz

Hi, I am Adeeba.I’m a freelance writer and a full time mom who likes writing intriguing stories and poems. I love leading my readers on an escape from everyday life. Nature is my inspiration and I firmly believe that self confidence is a key to success. My educational background includes an MTech in Computer Science and Engineering. I have a B.E. in Computer Science from M.J. College in Hyderabad, India. I have a research article on machine learning to my credit on IJEIR journal for Engineering research. Art mesmerizes me and reading fiction is my hobby.

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