Swarna an independent woman who decided to stay out of marriage because she did not found revealing. She was happy with her life 8 to 12 hours of the job then return back home sit and relax for hours having lunch with her family and then a sound sleep.
Weekends would not have been better than this, meeting old friends, shopping for the whole day have a good lunch with friends and return back home. Life could not be much better than this, for her marriage was simply a barrier between her liberty and herself which she was not at all ready to compromise at any cause.
Swarna believed to find glee in her job where she earned a handsome salary, satisfaction with her career growth as the interior designer and a comfortable lifestyle was a better choice. For her life changes suddenly after marriage that too it may not predictable.
Every morning may raise new topics of problems and obstructions to your career and may end your so-called personal life. Years may pass building trust on each other, or it may become the must for you to share your Facebook password that once used to be your private account. This is just because to show your partner that you are totally committed to the relation. Or might be you have to fight against the obsession that this relationship of husband-wife generally creates. Your phone lists may be checked after you reach home or maybe a dictating voice explaining to whom should you talk or from whom I shall stay away.
Instead of relaxing with your companion spending times on a nice chat over cups of tea may be the day may diversify into saddening quarrel and tales. Swarna did not have any the habit of clarifying each and every one does’s and don’ts of her life, not even to her parents. Neither her parents kept an eye on her regular activities but if she was late home for an unknown reason to their parents, a call over the phone with quest or reason to be late. This was their concern for their daughter which she never confused with dominance. She found herself not to be a typical family woman cooking for her family or looking after their family keeping her own concern away from her sight.
While she had the habit of ordering a cup of tea on her table, though she knows to cook but not a regular as her job rather she would order from the restaurant. So this was clear that she was not ready to come out of her comfortable world and pleasure to be singly happy.
While they arrived to see me on a Saturday…….
As every weekend I was for a day out and returned home by 5 pm. After returning home my Mom said, “Few guests are coming today to be here by 7 pm”. It was a hint that someone is coming to see me for marriage. This was something new kind of experience for me, at 7:30 they were in the sitting room and after 10 minutes I attended them. Well! They were shocked at first sight, yes I was wearing a palazzo and a t-shirt. This kind of appearance is unexpected especially when the scenario or concern is for marriage.
After taking my seat in between them I found that an old lady, a mid-age man and woman was in front of me. Maybe I was too smart for them as they asked me about myself, they asked me if I had any queries. Though there was no reason to look up, I looked at the mid-age man while the old lady from side said “actually he is my son’s uncle” and I had a sigh of relief to some extent. Unable to hold my curiosity I asked: “ Where is your son?” “What does he do and how tall is he”? These were my basic priorities for my would-be husband.
Everything was fine but suddenly the old lady said “ he was about to come but got stuck in a meeting” so we had to come without him. This was offensive to me, as I was sitting here and that guy denied to come maybe he was not ready for such custom of seeing a girl or maybe he left the entire decision of marriage to his parents. Arrange marriage was just a duty that is accomplishing as a son for his mother.
While leaving they asked us to give the next visit to their place and according to the Hindu customs of past decades when a girl is not supposed to visit or even have a single look to their man unless and until the couples get married. I did not even ask his name for whom they had come to see me. This situation was awkward while my parents were quiet and I was asking so many questions. After they left I asked my father “Was I too aggressive Baba?” Papa said “No, you should always look into things intelligently, so that later you find no difficulties.
After two days there was a phone call from their side while I already denied the marriage to such a guy who finds his job more important than the relationship. No doubt job is the basic need may be your passion at the same time but this will not be an intelligent deal to marry each other without even knowing each other.w
After the heartbreaking incident, I was speaking to Siddhartha…..
I was upset about the entire situation and made a call to my colleague with whom I spend hours talking about the present and upcoming projects or events.
He was a person who suggested me better and I could trust working accordingly. While discussing he found my voice to be saddening and asked me the reason to feel so low. Suddenly he said so you are not yet engaged, I said ”No”.
Siddhartha said, well get ready to get a cup of bed tea every morning and lots of pampering from my side. Long time I was thinking of saying this but I was in doubt will you agree with the proposal of getting married or not. So are you ready to get along with me on and what about the engagement ring from my side? Well! A ring cannot decide a future of marriage unless we both are committed to it. Swarna replied. I have four more fingers in my left hand put it in anyone, unless you are committed it hardly matters for me and as long as you pamper me.
Siddhartha was a close to me who knows me better not only my best but also my worst habits or drawbacks and never denied to stay away during my difficult days. The best part is he can understand my reason for being aggressive. Somewhere I was searching for such person who will love me for not being perfect or just want me to be committed to rituals and duties. Someone who will like to spend hours with me without any complains and someone who can overlook my drawbacks.
We generally together spend time together chatting and sharing our interests and hobbies together instead of putting eyes on the phone call lists or peeping into each other’s privacy.