Marriage Is Not Culmination of Romance – It Is Beginning of Romance
Gray hairs have been started to surface on his head. He might have tried but ream less glasses couldn’t hide the faint wrinkles under his eyes. He, standing against the glass wall, was sipping his early morning coffee and enjoying lightly falling snow outside. Wife was busy in her kitchen chores. A young, pretty, tall, teenage girl – Angel – emerged from inside room. She reached behind him and enveloping her hands around his body, she whispered into his ears: “Happy Wedding Anniversary, Dad…”
For a moment he felt himself frozen. He was so embarrassed that he couldn’t figure out how to respond his daughter as he again failed to remember his wedding anniversary. For couple of moments he kept on staring at blank as if he was trying to find how it happened. He just turned around. With poignant smile on his face, he put his hand on her head and could hardly whisper: “Thanks, hon…” She smiled and was en route for kitchen.
He was the same person who used to count days for his fiancée’s birth day so that he can give her a unimaginable gift – struggled for hours to find a fresh Red Rose for her – reached early and waited for hours in the parking lot – sending poetic SMSes to her every hour – sitting on a beach and just staring into each other’s eyes – walking bare footed on the sprawling waves and planning the future – Having plugged Blue tooth into ears, talking all night long and having early morning break-fast at IHOP – Reserving a Hotel Room for Jacuzzi Bath – Watching Ball Game with Beer and Pizza and then feeding chocolate covered cherries to each other – He was the same person who savored every moment with her.
While dating, the time-span to be together was limited. Marriage eliminated all limitations. They turned out more passionate and more attached to each other after marriage. Morning started with making Irish Cream coffee for her, she used to made black coffee for him –He made her breakfast and she made his – getting into shower together – Going to work and dropping her to her office – During work hours, their Blue Tooth’s always remained plugged into their ears – Picking her up from work and mostly going to Restaurant for undivided attention – at home sitting in front of TV, talking more and watching less. Nights had always been intoxicating. Touching, caressing, kissing every pore of the body and wild sex remained at ultimate level. Every week end was a new honeymoon. On a birthdays or anniversary, a five star candle-lit hotel room, rose petals on the floor that lead her to Jacuzzi. She was blossoming like a flower. They didn’t know when her stomach was bulged amid giggling, laughing, loving, sharing the joy of being married. Once in a while, she started feeling little uneasy. Medical tests revealed that she is carrying.
The child to be born took the center stage of their life.
Now he was more careful handling her. As long as possible he didn’t let her do any household chores. He was more watchful for her exercise and diet. He used to help her to prepare prescribed nutritious food for her. Every morning holding the tray of freshly cut fruits, he had to literally run around her to feed her, as she wasn’t a great fan of fruits.
Sometimes she felt so overwhelmed that she thanked God for bestowing the moments she always dreamt of.
Now the subject of conversation shifted from romance to a boy or a girl, this name or that name, diaper and outfit, baby-food to adult-food, school to college and present to future of the child who is going to arrive.
And the day arrived, excitement came to an end. In the hospital, he himself witnessed the birth of an extremely beautiful baby girl – Angel. When he held her into his arms and touched her, thrilling waves passed through his body. The feeling of a new life in his arms was incredible.
The life has been changed completely. Focus shifted to baby. Instead of “How are you?” it was “How’s Angel?” “Did she eat?” “What she ate?” “No, that’s not a good for her, I will bring something else.” “Sure I will get your medication too.”
Baby was taking front row. Romance was on the back burner and nobody was looking at whether that burner was lit or not.
Clock never stops. Days and nights are scheduled to pass by. Baby care, baby sitting, office, work, shopping for baby, household chores, first birthday, second birthday….School, high-school and on and on. Marriage comes with responsibilities. Responsibilities made them forget who they were and who they are now. After a long day, they get to home, love baby and collapse into bed exhausted. No energy for romance and no time to sizzle themselves.
This is a common story and complaint of numerous couples, whether married or not. However passionate they may have been in the first few years of the relationship, after a while the passion fizzles out and love-care-romance becomes history.
It has been observed that Love, romance and relationship before marriage is carefree, untroubled. He is he and she is she. They meet, romance, dream and enjoy and get back to their own home. There wasn’t any responsibility and no one to take care of. Both have to please each other, which is always exciting in love.
Unfortunately, as the relationship continues and we begin to focus more on our kids and home and less on our spouse. The relationship starts losing initial spark and we begin to feel a loss of love and romance. This doesn’t mean the basic element love-romance is evaporated or both are fed up with each other. It also doesn’t mean that the bond between two doesn’t exist. It simply means we’ve forgotten to keep the flame of our emotions burning.
Essentially, it is human tendency that We always yearn for what we don’t have and we get unconcerned for what we have. We always run after the thing which is difficult to acquire. Once we acquire it, the significance of him or her always keeps decreasing. Monotony takes the place of excitement. When “Lover” becomes “spouse”, the “spouse” becomes “Ghar ki Murgi” (Home Made Chicken) and “Ghar Ki Murgi Is Daal Baraabar” (Home made chicken is as good as unsavory Pulse Soup). And this tendency of ours gives the birth to the crisis which sometimes becomes difficult to resolve.
Being happily married is not as subtle as you think. There are some precise steps you can take to spice up your relationship. Your marriage blossoms and remains healthy and happy. You can add some seasonings and change the way of cooking so homemade chicken and unsavory pulse soups tastes delicious.
Let try to figure out some seasonings, which makes relationship delicious and modify the method of cooking so that we can have delectable meal of the relationship.
There is no one as good as your spouse:
These days we all have become self-centered, prejudiced and intolerant. We, for a petty reason, fracture our relationship and attempt to find our expectations elsewhere. But there is no guarantee that the “elsewhere” will be better and fulfill our expectations. It is as good as gambling and gambling specially in relationship is hazardous to your life as it never pays back. No matter whatever the people – who have bitter experience – think, it is a fact that there is nobody is as good as your spouse.
Develop Positive Attitude:
A Happy life starts with how you feel about yourself. If you have a positive outlook on life, then you are likely to share that happiness with others. Whatever your outlook may be, you can always work towards becoming a better person. Knowing and working on yourself and your own happiness is the first step to finding happiness in your marriage. Whenever any crisis arises, try to find out the source patiently, tolerantly and come to the positive conclusion. If both of the candidates try to develop positive attitude, there won’t be any obstacle in relationship.
Communicate with each other:
Communication is the key for any relationship. If you don’t say what you think and how you feel for certain subject, how your partner will be able to know what you are looking for. It is through communication that you can reveal your persona. Communication always makes a relationship stronger. It is also important to communicate honestly, listen patiently and say patiently. Blaming or accusing never resolves any problem. Each one needs to put oneself in another’s position and evaluate oneself appropriately.
Compromise – sacrifice – Surrender:
It is essential that the spouses are prepared to make sacrifices for each other. The partners should be ready to abandon their happiness for a marriage to work. If one of the spouse is rather self centered and not willing to make sacrifices, the survival is likely difficult. It is not necessary that the sacrifice be a large one; as many a time small sacrifices that matter the most. If wife doesn’t like smoking, husband should quit and on the other hand if the smoking is occasional wife shouldn’t mind it either.
Romance doesn’t mean Sex. Sex is included in Romance. Sex is the part of romance. Romance appeals to the five senses of human beings. Sight, Smell, Sound, Taste, and Touch. It’s the emotional, spiritual, and physical link between two hearts and two souls. Send romantic SMS to your spouse at regular interval. Say “I love you” even when not required. A sizzling kiss for no reason. As Kama Sutra is an ancient text that is one of the leading guides to sensual pleasure, buy a copy and gift to your partner. Romance creates togetherness. Romance is a spice in the food and it always makes the food delicious.
Eat Good Delicious Food:
Food is the heart of life. Food keeps you alive. It is said that the best way to anybody’s heart is delicious food. And I am telling you, it is true. Sometimes nothing inspires more than a mouthwatering meal and sweet treats. Prepare a simple yet elegant meal for two or a tray of appetizing mini desserts. Experiment with different types, different continents. And yes, never forget something sweet at the end.
Respect and Praise Each Other:
Who doesn’t like praise and respect? Generally we all are loaded with responsibilities and stress and we take relationship for granted. During this course each of us feels ignored. To avoid such situations, you could make your partner realize that he/she is not being ignored or unnoticed. You can do it by expressing small things. Giving compliments is a great way to let the other know that you care for your partner. “Looking sizzling today.” “I loved your thought.” “You look slim and fit.” Surprised gift of a single Red Rose may please your partner. It is not the flower, it’s feelings behind the flower that works. It shows how you care for her. Wife can do something husband loves most. So praise, respect and conquer the heart.
Spend Quality Time:
These days the importance of things can be measured with the amount of time spent on it. It happens that couples spend more time initially in a relationship. Later they get busier with other things in life. When this happens it is necessary for both to sit down and make a priority list. Spending less time together can cause couples to drift away. Take a break – take a vacation together to break the monotony. Spend at least 15 minutes a day together. If you have small kids, hire a babysitter even though you are at home. You can keep your cell phone off for a day. Go for a quiet evening at home once a month. Spend quality time with each other because this is the most treasured gift you can give to your sweet heart.
Say Sorry Whenever Required:
We are human and we make mistakes. When you realize that you have done something unpleasant, never hesitate to apologize. I know men generally don’t like to say sorry. But to keep your relationship going and save yourself some pain, you have to do this. Sorry is a magical word. It removes the doubts and clears misunderstandings. Make a habit of saying sorry whenever and wherever required.
Surprise with Affectionate Action:
Go beyond the expectation. Do something affectionate, which your partner never imagines. Plan a romantic unimaginable romantic getaway. Reserve a Hotel Room and spread rose petals on the way that leads to candle lit Jacuzzi. Write a Love Letter addressing your wife and post it to your own address. Go for some sexual fantasies. Take salsa lessons, get tickets for a live concert and go for a date. Use your imagination and creativity to surprise your partner romantically.
Make Your Bedroom Romantic:
Bedroom is the most romantic place in the world. Your goal should be to create intimacy in a room in such a way that they make both you and your partner feel relaxed and close.
Color has a very strong and subtle effect on our senses. Colors can evoke powerful emotions in us. Lighting sets the mood in a room instantly. To create a romantic decor you should probably go for dimmer mood lighting. Bed is where mostly all actions take place. It has to be comfortable. Fabric should be luxurious and cozy. Try to find pieces of artifacts that evoke the intimacy. Scent is also a powerful stimulant. Experiment with different fragrances of your choice. Finally, keep a copy of Kama-Sutra, an ancient guide to sensual pleasure.
Have Sex Regularly:
Sex is the ultimate joy in the world. There is nothing more enjoyable than sex. Sex is the basic ingredient in unification of man and woman. It’s a need of human being as food, water and air. Sex keeps you close and intimate. Even scientifically it has been proved that sex keeps us healthy. So to brighten up your relationship, have sex regularly.
We all are humans with different minds, different opinions, different philosophy and different approach towards life. When people with different kinds of minds get to gather at one place; conflicts are bound to take place. But any crisis in marriage can be resolved with love, respect, understanding, patience, trust and faith. We just have to keep in mind that Marriage Is Not Culmination of Romance; Marriage Is Beginning of Romance.
Angel – literally pulling – brought her mother out of the Kitchen and made her stand in front of Daddy. Husband and wife gazed at each other strangely as if they are seeing after ages. Angel chirping said: “Happy Wedding Anniversary to both of you…”
Drops of tears swelled up in their eyes. Angel said resolutely: “Dad, Kiss Mama… and Mama you kiss Daddy…”
They turned their gaze at Angel, unaware of detachment between parents – she looked cheerful. They turned to each other started sobbing as if they realized that they fail to appreciate each other and were regretful. Sobbing turned to weeping and he took hold of her into his arms. They let the grief get out through their eyes, then extended their hands at little Angel and she cheerfully encircled her hands around them.
Outside the wall glass, the falling snow was stopped. White thick gloomy clouds had been dispersed. Sky was clearer as if it was making a way for sun to come out. Faint golden rays from the horizon were filtering through the glass and illuminating the hall as well as the life.
It was beginning of new life…