Speaking from a chronological order then, we are born; we receive education and get a job. Moment we think of us being stable in terms of finance or just being a balanced individual, we think of getting married. Either you fall in love and get married or you may find yourself in an arranged marriage. In either case, we are always concerned about the success of marriage. Meaning, we look for happiness. We give and receive from the partner.
To me personally, it all boils down to a few very clear cut ‘How to’s that may be implemented for beautiful, happy and a successful marriage.
Surprise, surprise! let me tell you, if you have somehow landed to this page and have shown keen interest in reading this article, then you are a positive person already. How? Well coz you really desire and wish a formulae for a happy marriage that goes smooth.
You can begin with changing your perspective. you may well be thinking-Why isn’t my partner understanding? I like to think Iam a brilliant(well! we all do, don’t we? Hang on! don’t assume just as yet. Pretty much I can deal anything-anyone with relative ease.When you feel a negativity getting into you, question it right away. Don’t feed into it. Get yourself to think of something nice, worth reminding yourself of instead. If your partner doesn’t seem very positive, then keep in mind that it is time you gotta work doubly hard. Infuse positivity! Try as much as possible to stay away from negative people, negativity. Be more accepting, forgiving and everything will eventually settle down and be alright.
Always remember never stop doing your best just because someone does not give you credit.
Complement Each Other
One of the way for, rekindling or simply connecting is to stop nit-picking the “bad” things about them. Start observing, noticing and complementing what is good in them. Be observant and I am sure you will learn many things about your spouse which will make you fall in love with them all over again. Your spouse constantly looks for your involvement, encouragement, compliments, approval and appreciation. few words of appreciation, all it takes to make someone’s day. Why not be generous with it. You can’t believe the potential of inspiration the little things like compliments or few words of appreciation can have. Never underestimate the potential of a genuine appreciation or compliment. Acknowledge! acknowledgement is yet another very important factor to the compliment. It conveys that you are equally grateful and sensitive to them being thoughtful. Word of caution don’t go over the board with it and make it look all plastic-ey.
Be all smiles together
Add it in your “to do list” for the day where you both involve sharing your heartfelt smile and have a good laugh together. Make time for each other and have a hearty chat, be all smiles. Shower each other with lots of smiles, it breeds atmosphere of happiness. You could well be fooling around or joking about little things that add to fun and frolic. Make her sing a song for you, she may not be good at it but appreciate an attempt she made for you anyway. Little things, you see! Cook with them, go for a walk, give them your undivided time and attention she will really appreciate it. Do anything and everything you might think of. The idea is basically to be able to give a good chunk of yourself to them ensuring that time is just their’s. The ‘us’ time full of smiles and happy moments. It’s the moments like these, which create beautiful memories to be remembered and cherished. Trust me when you get old, it’s these little moments that will flash in front of your eyes and nothing can ever match the sense of fulfillment it will promise to give you.
Work seriously upon gaps. You must have communication. If it is absent, that should ring a warning bell. Slowly and steadily try to break the awkward silence, rather make your silences comfortable. Endeavor to develop a feeling among yourselves which screams and says,
We may not have everything but togetherness is what we have and that is what we have. The ‘us’ This is all that is needed for a happy relationship.
Respect Your Spouse
Law is pretty simple, if you do not respect your spouse no one will. In fact you will simply attract people who will disrespect you. Your spouse deserves a lot more, much much more than this. Make them your everything and mean it. When with you and or in front of everyone, every time. When they are loved and respected the way they should everything else falls in place automatically. A random gesture like texting them and saying, “I know I don’t get to say this as often but thanks for taking care of me”, can make such a difference. It will be really handy for you and your marriage if you could accept the fact that you are both imperfect but capable of making a perfect world.
Don’t strangulate them
You are two adults who are married now and therefore are ‘single entity.’ Don’t forget though you still are two different individuals with different likes, aspirations, dreams, personality traits. Do not try to change them and expect them to stick to you all glued. If IT really is your thing as a couple, so be it, enjoy it. However do not forget to give each other the space to breathe. Remember you are only just marries you still are two different individuals wanting, deserving your space very much. Getting married does not mean you literally have to be each other everywhere you go. Also, good idea to be be open enough to talk about your insecurities, tell each other how you feel. Interaction can solve almost anything and everything.
Marriage is a bitter sweet symphony. It entails a whole gamut of things like compromises, sacrifice, forgiveness, and understanding, love, trust etc etc. This road of marriage is to be tread on with care and caution. TRUST is a big thing. It needs time, it needs giving in all you got. Your care, your love, your reliance, everything. It is an experience on it’s own. Trust on it’s own is a sheer word. You don’t wanna throw heavy words at them. You need to show that in action. Show, reflect, express your trust.
Often people coming into the relationship might have a baggage, which could cause conflict even after marriage. This may include emotional baggage like having a bad relationship in the past. Having false beliefs of how relationships need to be, or having a fantasy of a perfect marriage life and continue to look and expect for the same. There are couples who say, “We entered marriage thinking differently and things turned out different. But whatever the situation was, we handled it with long talks.” Hence key is trust. When this is absent things begin to break down and fall apart.
Be a good Listener
According to psychologists a good communicator is always a good listener. In order to understand your partner you need to be patient, and be listening to them well. Lend them a sympathetic ear. Nothing as bad as not paying attention to your spouse. The best part of being a good listener is, they are secure within themselves and know exactly when and what to speak. Hold back the urge to interrupt. Good listeners respect emotions, they think deeply before responding. They think before they respond. Being emotionally charged often results in an outrage. If you are the good listener then you have a good chance of having a healthy married life. If you are not, then it’s time to be one. You yourself will experience the difference it will make.
Do NOT lie
Never lie, it leads you nowhere. Lying only ever breaks trust and once trust is broken no relationship can survive. If you can’t trust them, who can you trust? Like with anything, the more you are truthful, the easier it will be for you to trust and communicate more freely. Be truthful to your partner. Also remember though to err is a human. If they happened to lie for whatever given reason,give them a chance, everyone deserves a second chance. And once you have decided to give them a second chance do not let the past actions of your partner haunt you. Act mature and let go of the past.
Implement these little hacks in your life and experience the beautiful change it brings.