Cheers to the endless posibilities of love n it’s fragilities, always! Live long ‘love!’

Never in my whole entire life have I come across love as crazy as this, as ardent as this assiduous-fervent-feverish-hot-blooded obsessive-completely burning-glowing with flames of desire and longing that promises-shocks-scares to continue endlessly against the odds of life.

This is all about the tempestuous obsessive affair that is forever to last.

Love such as THIS which is all consuming-powerful-potent-humbling-worthy of worship-reverent. All at once.

They ‘them’ they are not any different from us, they too do have aspirations, fears, dreams, hopes and challenges

They are so ordinary just like any of us, one of us, YET so extraordinary.

Their tale gives me goosebumps.My heart tears apart and bleeds for them to be together.

Must confess all these years of my life have witnessed love stories of all sorts. Reciprocated with full fervour, some unrequited, some occurring outside the officially accepted boundaries, some consummating in a marriage, handful failing, some still managing to continue threatening to be hanging from a thread. Needless to say the couples involved have been madly-insanely-deeply in love with each other. At times even happy to give away their all for the other’s happiness. I meant where for some unfortunate reasons or reasons unknown they haven’t been able to be together despite and inspite of all the love they have for each other.

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BUT never in my life did I ever come across anything-anyone even remotely close to this very special couple.

No exaggerations! I SO long for them to be together, there is no way for me to express the kind of feelings they evoke in me. A weird mix of helplessness-vulnerability-compulsive desire to break free shackles of ‘whats right -whats not,’ dodge the conventions of societal judgements and undo the strangulating ‘so called relationships’(structural relationship? Just for society?)

To be with the one they really are so deeply in love with.

Might be damned inappropriate. Might be dismissed for breaking the norms, but that’s the thing, matters of heart are very complicated. There cannot be any rights or wrongs here, just simply not! Thy are very delicate and need to be handled with utmost care and sensitivity or else just something as reverent as beautiful as this just gets blown into nothingness, dies a death of martyr? Dunno! Just wondering. Why does it have to be sad? Don’t buy it. Do you? I would love a happy ending.Won’t you? Enough of emotional appeal. I think the movies can deal with that :0 real life, real people, deserve much more than this, more so when their love is true.

I really honestly need this answered. When the love is true? Well that is IF there really is something that exists in the world that is termed ‘love’ and the people involved. If they are so in love, want to be with each other so much so that one completes the other and without them they are incomplete, they find true happiness in each other.

Then why and how do they manage not being together? Why can’t they be together? Why is it wrong to be together? There may be thousand and N reasons(Excuses? Not sure)either ways I just fail to see the reason.

To me, they are meant to be together simply coz they belong together. Is that not reason enough?

Trouble is cupid can strike anytime. Whatever situation you may be in, it may be rather messy if someone is already in a relationship and the love comes along. The real challenge is when you actually realize that THIS someone is ‘the one’ for you.

What do you do?

How do you handle this?

You surely can’t have both can you? Well if you tried you would realize one needs to go to keep the other. Who means more? What are you ready to give up? What is the best way to go about things? How can you minimize hurts?

I know, I realize making these choices never can be easy however wise though else you are stuck in this muddle of a limbo for life. You are living but you are never really alive.Why? Well coz you are physically present but emotionally and mentally absent?

How fair is that now? Who are you trying to cheat? More yourself than the other.You can’t be living like this, even if you somehow did it would be an endurance.

At times life is so not fair! Well said who that life was bed of roses anyway?

It isn’t, is it?

The tale begins…

She is beauty incarnate. Goddess straight from heaven. Features that speak volumes about her attractiveness, her flawless fair skin tone, those almond shaped eyes that often turns into large saucers when grumpy, her hair dark midnight sky turned into waterfall finishing just a notch above her knee, her slender frame, so dainty so feminine with her gorgeous long hair. Her entire demeanour points at how very perfect everything is about her and her voice is so enchanting that just adds that extra edge to her beauty.

Besides she is all about confidence. Living life to the fullest, ensuring she gets all she gets her beautiful hands laid on. She is a ‘go getter,’ born to win! And no! ‘relationships’ are no strangers to her, she has been in and out of many.Many men she has seen before but nothing was even close to what she was going to run into. I doubt she knew this was coming.

She is bold, she is daring, crazy, petulant like a child, if she decides to have something she has to have it this way or the other. She always seems to have reasons to justify and give her insane logic to things. I suppose she does have her share of flaws but mostly gets away with it coz of the amazing person that she is.

Oh I tell you lioness is an understatement to describe this fierce-fiery-crazy-astonishingly beautiful woman!

The one thing, to me that would do justice to what describes her best is –

She is unstoppable! She is daring.She knows what she wants and figures a way to get it.

Many might be so tempted to call her rather a psycho or even twisted, but to me she will always stand out as a very special someone, the breed that I doubt exists, the true paradigm of what love stands for.

Her definition of loving, being in love.Some kind of beautiful-obsessive-crazy shade of love, that would threaten to flow all over and permeate into almost everything.

Him! He is a Greek God, just the right match for her. His hair, strangely attractive shade of gold-brown which complements his golden toasty white skin tone. He is all fit flaunting his athletic built through the clothes he wears promising to take your breath away. Not an ounce of spare flesh masking-hiding the power and vitality of the man at the peak of fitness, he exudes handsomeness in-your-face. He is all charm with his gift of gob, he just seems to have a way with people. Such a happy go lucky someone always in singing-swinging spirits who loves to socialize and connect to people. And oh! with his voice so deep and warm he sounds like a dream.

How ironically perfect they look together, it breaks my heart. Why do things have to be like this? Why did they ever choose to be so unreasonable? It’s beyond me to understand. They don’t deserve this suffering.

He is madly in love with her not a day goes by when her thoughts don’t cross his mind, when her scent doesn’t whiff his senses. Her jokes don’t tickle his funny bone and what is worse is he is well aware she feels the same, misses her like crazy. Quite literally he breathes her lives her, thinks her, she is always on his senses. Secretly hopes in hearts of hearts they could somehow-anyhow be together. Even if it was for an hour may be? Even a glance of her’s would bring solace to his eternally tormented soul. She MEANS the world to him, he is nothing without her. BUT he is physically with his wife.

While she, stupidly chose to get married since he was married and thought that was the most practical-logical-reasonable decision she ever made, only to realise it would fall flat on her face. Coz really her heart belongs there, to him, she did marry YES! But wasn’t she already married? Her heart married his ages ago, she belonged to him, she STILL belongs to him.

How insanely in love they still are. How badly they need each other. How beautifully they compliment each other. How painfully-ironically they belong together. It is a shame they are not.

It is plain cruel how the fate laughs it’s evil laughter and thrusts them together. The devious destiny decides to play its games when one of them is married and the other isn’t. Let me tell you love CAN and does happen when it has to, cupid strikes whosoever he wants to. One may choose to keep their feelings bottled up but that doesn’t in anyway demerit the way they feel for the other. He doesn’t check your marital status first? Nah! That’s not his job that is exactly what happened.

Him and Her they ran into each other while having a very heated argument striked by rather violent debate that they were having, which took an overblown shape and somehow ended up dramatically with them insanely falling for each other.

The guy completely unaware of her feelings, was completely taken aback and overwhelmed by her confessions which got known to him through someone. Being what she is, straight business, had a messenger send across her message of  her desire of becoming a part of his life. Married as he was and totally in a state of shock didn’t know how to handle it, was definitely swooned by it all though.

No she weren’t gonna stop there of course till he succumbed to her beauty and her equally beautiful heart and realized how beautiful she made him feel inside out. He got so deeply involved it was impossible to for him to let go off her.

The togetherness and the bond only grew stronger and deeper. Their attachment knew no bounds, they did almost everything together. They so became a part of each other, one so nothing without the other, so completely inseparable.

She said she needed him, wanted him, couldn’t do without him and he reciprocated in the same fervor and expressed the same in every small and big ways.

She loved him SO much she was even ready to share him with his wife. I know this is taking things too far but donnu think this tells you something about the kind of love she has for him? Obsessive-compulsive-passionate-explosively crazy. She just wanted him at any cost and she wasn’t gonna give up!

He felt just the same exactly the same, except for he never really did anything to show what she meant to him. This is just something I feel personally. When he loves her so much HOW could he let her go? Why was he helpless? What was the helplessness? If he was in love, is in love, why didn’t he deliver?  This should have been the easiest decision of his life, should have come to him most naturally and not be taking forever wearing that melancholy face.

THOSE are somethings that just don’t let me be at peace. I do realize things can’t always be as you desire them and there never really always  are rounded solutions for things. Iam in no way judging why he sat there not doing anything but I feel frustrated that things have to be this way.

Well to add to the cherry on the cake. At repetitive requests-pleadings-proposals of getting married to him as a second wife, she got not much response to so she decided to get married too.

I could well be completely wrong but I dunno why I smell avenge? A petulant spite? An earnest attempt to settle and move on(No way! They are in separable till date)

She did attempt to marry and settle down but all she did has been most unsettling for her. She failed bigtime, is failing bigtime, she is trying harder and harder everyday to move on. But all she does is carries on somehow through the day while misses him badly all day, longing to be with him. Why did she marry at all? How foolish was this really! She could have well minimized the mess, donnu think?

What I wanna know is shouldn’t their love alone had been enough for them to survive the challenges?  If their love IS true why and how can’t they brace this cyclone? Will they ever be able to cope with and settle with the undercurrents that terrorize to rip them apart for good. She seems so insanely- blindly-madly, I am gonna say as far as psychotically in love with him coz even through all these mad times of walking through the aisle with her ‘hubby to be’ she still had him in her mind and heart and frantically tried to contact him and reach him. His thoughts never ceased, they just can’t. She is so in love. She even tried reaching out to him post marriage. It didn’t stop there, she tried and tried and tried till she actually made it happen.

That continued to happen and carried on happening only to make her long for more and more. What was the point of this arrangement? Happening till date, continues to happen off and on. What is she trying to achieve by doing this? Why doesn’t she just live on her terms by herself? Why can’t she? Who has stopped her? One can’t be sailing in two boats at the same time, can they? Why was this so hard to understand?

And him! let us not get there, this should be self explanatory. Good job I have known him, haven’t met him only know him through a friend but THIS is so NOT done. Cant buy any justification whatsoever. He is not an adult enough? To understand what he was getting himself into and all that it would entail? Being torn, trying to run away, hopping from one city to the other with the hope to divert his mind, all futile. She is IN him, in his system. He knows it, he lives her. Mr. Lover, so in love would go and see her each time that was arranged, he even bought her a massive expensive ring? For her wedding gift! Honestly? Tell her how much he loves her and that should sort it all out ?? Seriously?

Number of dissatisfied lives involved? Well!  None of my business but this really just drives me up the wall. It’s plain crazy.

Isn’t it pure menace when you are in love? In love with that someone who happens to be the one without a shadow of doubt and despite and inspite of trying all that is in your capacity you cant have him.

Even now as I think of her, I see her wearing a fake smile carrying on the regular chores of the day looking after her hubby and kids but all saddened. She is eating, watching tele, going out shopping though all she wants to do is just sit there and have a good cry. She misses him so much. She hasn’t heard him in ages. Last she met feels like a decade and the beautiful ring that he gifted her at her wedding haunts her of his honest love and affection, it breaks her every minute. She still keeps thinking about him, wondering how he is what he is doing. At times she tries her level best to try and cheat his thoughts but all in vain. More so coz she loves to think about him. She loves him insanely. Her heart bangs in her chest even as she takes his name. She feels like with him has gone a vital part of her and left a void that can never fill up. She hates admitting but she feels like she cant find her happiness unless it was for him. He is her happiness.

She misses his ample chest that is full of love, love that is ONLY and SOLELY her’s. He has her name imprinted in every ounce of his. He is so not her, doesn’t go about trumpeting how much how deeply he loves her, how much she means to him, she is all that is he has. He is broken within-shattered-fallen apart coz of what has gone on and just doesn’t know how to mend things.He was always married, she got married coz he chose (okay couldn’t do anything) not to do anything about them or lets say it was all happening too quick and he didn’t think of the repercussions, consequences or did he take her for granted?? I would hate that, wont you?

He misses her ardently no he doesn’t cry but his heart aches-longs to be with her, be her’s alone coz the truth is he IS her’s. There are days times he wonders why did he not choose to be with her, torments himself endlessly thinking of the doom brought upon them both. He wonders if it’s all his fault or is it the evil tricks of destiny.

All the same nothing changes he is stuck and NOW so is she. They suffer in their own respective worlds, thinking about each other through the day through the nights. What hurts most is their love only gets stronger and deeper as they continue to love each other even in their own respective separate worlds longing to become whole again and they cant. They can only be whole together, they complete each other and that is why their love is living. Love persists hard-strong even though apart.

He does realize now what he lost or may be he thought he just won’t lose her after all. If anything, I wanna know from him if she meant so much why could’nt, why didn’t he ask her not to marry? Well at least then she could have loved him undivided and not be torn the way she is today. Worse still coz he is who she belongs to how and where does the other fit???

She secretly asks God what did she do to deserve all this? If anything, still happy to give away her life for him She cries while she thinks why couldn’t he marry her? why and how was that a big ask? It hurts so much that she feels herself at the edge of pulsating longing, passionate burning love. Wonders may be with some luck she might be able to have her love back.

The dark truth is lovers live inside a bubble. A bubble they create-develop with their love they have in their hearts for each other. Within the safety of that bubble they unite as one entity, their merging is potent and immediate, creates belonging. They try to stay safe in this love bubble for as long as they possibly can and it is this very desire to merge, to be one as one entity is what draws them dangerously to each other, so magical, so surreal. It is this element of compulsive desire to become ‘one’ is what keeps the magic of love forever living, safe haven, their warm cocoon.THAT bubble is ‘love.’

Tales like theirs does make one believe in love. Love does exist after all, coz even against the odds of life, she still loves him and he loves her.

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Tanvi Kumar

About the Author

Tanvi Kumar

Hi My name is Tanvi, I am a freelance journalist and a writer. Love to express and connect to people. My writings are essentially a part of me. Mainly done writing, involving different styles, from educational to spirituality and travel to various facets of lifestyle.Always been inclined to art. Explored and experimented with all sorts of art. Be it painting on a canvas, creating a wonderland with edibles that tickles your palate, chiseling an attractive world of ideas that can be conceptualized into something working or simply sculpting a world with words with a tang of personal touch. Coming to think of it, anything starting right from crafting, cooking, ideating. Love them all.Besides that, I have a great interest in tarot and spirituality and I feel both of them go hand in hand. Iam an impulsive Tarot Reader, Rider Waite and plain playing cards being among my favourites. Like to think it’s a Devine tool guidance. Omnipotent has means and ways to reach us and is above everything and everyone. Right from the beginning I always found myself penning down my most heartfelt experiences which would always lend such great sense of fulfillment, almost cathartic! Before I realized it grew as a passion and all my strongly felt emotions, experiences, spun into poems, prose and articles. Never hesitated to pen down any promptings that I felt coming from within.This is who I am, this is what I do, I write. Just a few words about who Iam. Iam a mum of a two year old. And oh! No it’s not easy being a mum! Is it? But it’s surely worth all the hard work. And that’s how my freelance career kicked off. Ever since I had my little man, I found it rather tough to juggle between work and looking after the non-stop demands of a little wailing baby. I had turned almost a zombie when I reluctantly decided to freelance. Coz I loved my job at Morrisons. my career didn’t quite start as a writer, though always writing, never disconnecting from the writer inside me, I continued looming up a world of words that found its expression in varied forms. Like any other 20 year old I was enamored by the thought of being independent and the quickest way to do it was a BPO! Well who doesn’t like making money? To be fair, it wasn’t all that bad actually. I realized I loved to connect to people, loved to have a nice laugh with them, strike a rapport, try to help them with all my capacity. Soon, I had a calling from within surely that’s not what I wanted to do, I wanted to write, to express, to reach to people. Which is when Times Group happened; I was a part of online division. Always having a bent towards doing something creative. Times threw me an opportunity to do just that. The job required to me ideate, conceptualize, write for different events. What I enjoyed most was the radio bit, I have sung jingles, broadcasted the forecast subjects Tarot and Astrology. It was all so creative and fun at the same time. Getting married, straight after which I had to leave the job as we moved to the UK, where I started working as a freelance journalist, writer, content developer, alongside working at Morrisons at customer service. Been a part of Aceville Publications, Edge Allen, Morrisons in house magazine. All of us have dreams and aspirations in life. And so do I To be successful, to make a difference. That’s what I would like to do, that’s what I aspire to be.

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