Eccentric Spouses

Nowadays people expect everything in their spouses. Perfect behavior, perfect habits, perfect social manners, perfect complexion, perfect education, perfect physique, everything perfect. But in reality it is not so. On the contrary you can get a spouse with highly eccentric features. Initially you may think that this phase will pass away but afterwards you realize that it is going to stay with you for a lifetime.  Some couples are able to sustain marriage despite eccentricities but some are unable to do so. It is expected that you should approach your married life with open views and ideas, rigid views and ideas won’t work. Too much expectation from your spouse is not going to help matters. It may become even more difficult if she/he emerges out to be an eccentric.

Many people tell many stories about Sujit and Renu.  Sujit Singh’s life was hit by a big jolt when he realized that his wife Renu Singh was not normal.  She was very untidy, didn’t keep her house clean and didn’t keep things in a proper and arranged way. Highly disorganized is the right word. Initially he thought that his wife can be changed by talking. It didn’t yield results then he used reprimand, rebuke etc but in vain. At times he became violent but to no avail. Mr Singh didn’t buy any fridge because he knew his wife couldn’t have kept the food unspoilt even while using it. Everything was kept on floor just like garbage. But even strange was the fact that she learnt to drive car very easily and was a very good driver. They had two children and they were also very untidy. Mr Sujit tried many times to rectify his wife but couldn’t succeed. Finally in frustration he also started neglecting his wife and even his children. In short you can say he lost interest in his family and started looking for other engagements in life. Renu neglected her own appearances also. Her dress, makeup and cleanliness was always in bad taste. So Sujit was just trying to live his life without giving it any thought. Just a monotonous life with problems he couldn’t solve. But the million dollar question is what is keeping their marriages intact? The main reason is not very unclear. It is the middle class values in most of the cases which is keeping their marriages intact. Nobody wants to be a villain in the eyes of society. So they they keep their dirty secrets with themselves.

In another case both husband and wife Nikhil and Mamta fight each other over their in-laws. They do not want to see their in laws for no apparent reasons whatsoever. While both are in government jobs and that too good paying jobs still they are unable to resolve their differences. Mamta is good in all types of activities household, music, singing, dance, speech. The husband is tall, handsome and has a good behavior. Prima facie it seems that they would be a good couple and would be able to resolve their differences but it is not so. When the matter is about their in laws they draw swords over each other. Why despite being well educated and having good paying jobs they are unable to sort things out? There is no reason. But if you consider eccentricities then the whole situation becomes slightly comprehensible and clear. Many times you have to draw a limit over your behavior to keep the marriage successful.

Ultimately it can be said that if you have good spouse and are even somewhat satisfied then it is a good marriage, a blessing in disguise. It is impossible to judge a future relationship with your spouse just by looking at the biodata of your spouse and talking over a cup of coffee with him/her before marriage. Life has its own strange ways. It can hit you in unexpected ways. If you are having a normal spouse then you are so lucky and you should be happy about it.

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Ranjit Kumar

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Ranjit Kumar

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