ONLY YOU ARE TO JUDGE
the strange relationship between you and him………………
Tonight when the mercury is falling and there isn’t much out there to do, I have found a strange relationship between him and me. With the heat of the cup of tea uprooting my hand all I can think about is how he has been making me go through peaks and valleys.
Love is a very hard word it has to be used very carefully in the harder times but more difficult is exhibiting what you discern. “Sometimes love isn’t enough”, they said. But who were they? And did they attain the efficacy to know whether love is enough for us or not? Or were they the ones who understood love well? Well no, no one yet could do that. Love isn’t just an affliction and a gospel truth but it’s much more than that and has facets and my facet of love is him.
I know a state where I was not be able to compensate, maybe I was having my share of reprehension, a state where I thought I had witnessed the ultimate turmoil of my life and it was really difficult. This notion of love has always baffled me, put me in trouble hell lot of times and has no actual solution but to my surprise has been the one I never want to lose.
Aforetime I had never been surprised with a room full of roses and balloons. Whenever I left his place for mine he was perpetually looping my inbox trying to know whether I am secure or not. Empty pocketed because the last 100 rupee note he had; he saved it for a whole week, hungered himself so he could see me on the weekend, that is what love was for me. He was jobless so couldn’t pay his bills but took a credit loan making my birthday as more special than he or anyone could before. It may be a guy spending 1000 bucks for you out of the 10000 bucks he had and that’s fine but for me it was him spending 10 bucks when he had none. Everyone has their own perception of love and you alone are the one to decide for yourself. But the right one is the one you see improving every day.
There have been times when he gave chaos to my mind and wakefulness to my nights; the unforeseen painful words he spoke or the way he pushed me back when I was sobbing over his conduct has never been a boon to my endurance ever. He never had this sense of self control but did that mean he wasn’t the one for me? Again, yes they said. And I still don’t know who “they” are to judge whether love is not ample for you or whether the one you want to see everyday should be your everyday muse or not.
I found a strange relationship between us and its everywhere. You know what holds you two together, what all he has sacrificed to be with you and sometimes you don’t even know the sacrifices. You have been doing things for him but you also have a part in you that he hates but did he leave you for being that sometime in your bad times? No he didn’t. It’s you two who fathom each other well and know what transcendent you can get out of each other. It is all natural. You will come to a point in life where you are rebuked for being with a person who is penny pinching you in a certain or certain way but no, the person you are dealing with is real and is no alien he has his set of flaws and habits but he also plays a set of significance in your life by doing things no one else does for you and when that set of actions hefts more than the atrocious one you got to stick because only you can understand the strange relation between “YOU AND HIM”.