Marriage connection that could be magic between two people. But hey riggedy-jag is life, wedlock no different eii? You made a vow to love one another for better or for worse, but at times things get far too rough to handle. Perhaps you had a bad fight, you feel yourselves drifting apart, or you may have simply reached a point where you realize your relationship has become a job & you need to improve the relationship SOS. Relationships require work and commitment to keep your love for one another strong, and marriage is no exception.
So! You grow up, dream of falling in love. You want them for good, wanna settle down, make babies together. You go through the whole drill it takes to get there and BOOM suddenly life ISN’T as rosy as you thought! What happened to the dream of living together? Being happy together? You have it all, don’t you? So what has gone missing? Why are things suddenly so stagnant?
Something somewhere has gone amiss. You are ridiculously worrying-rattling your head thinking what to do to better your relationship only to fail each time.
After the easy love happens before or after marriage and THERE you go, starts the topsy-turvy ride of the very adventurous married life.
In all honesty, nothing is as bad as one thinks though at the same time there are sadly no ‘end-all,be-all’ readymade to follow steps to achieve a happy relationship.
The one thing I can vouch though is the fact that post applying these brashly practical hacks to your lives, your life will be headed in the direction it should to make things better for you and your loved one. Trust me, you will both be in a better position to see yourselves and the other as an individual and your relationship will mature. What one needs to understand is no relationship, husband-wife in particular, is easy to flourish unless its given the love and caring that is needed for an amateurish relationship to it’s complete fruitation of being a ‘mature relationship’
And THAT believe me or NOT has nothing to do with time spent with each other. It has more to do with how much are you able to relate to your spouse, spouse’s problem as if it were yours!
Believe me or not relationships are easy to keep. Even better, happy and fun at the same time.
Here we go-
- It takes two to tango. To begin with it really never can function in isolation, never. So if one is constantly giving and the other is happy to take it all but doesn’t really care about giving back its a Na-na!
- Set the right expectations from the very start. It is always better to avoid sticky situations in life! Don’t be disappointed and don’t disappoint, as simple as that. Let them know what you can and what you can’t only fair. Isn’t it?
- At times it is important to say NO! It is very important at times to say no in life for the relationship to continue being healthy rather than giving fake hope. If something doesn’t work it doesn’t work
- Encourage, appreciate and cherish individuality with marriage.Guess what love? You are married, NOT bound to each other. Appreciate each other’s individuality. When I say this I do not in anyway mean don’t spend time as a unit. Please do that, THAT you must, now you are ‘one entity.’ All I am saying is marriage should bond you two not bound in anyway coz this is what will be left behind when everything else fades.
- Say no to ‘Space’ Don’t mistake individuality with space! You love them, right? If and when you do them how come you need space? And what do you need space for? You are one with them, NOW you function as a team. You are two individuals who are one now.
- Genuinely care for and love each other’s family. You are married NOT just to your spouse but their family too. Remember you get what you give. Invest time in bonding with your new family, you may not always be in the good books but try not to be in the bad books.
- Love and respect they go (phew big words!) go hand in hand. One can’t be separated from the other. You love so you respect and IF you respect you love them. So give them what they deserve.
- Don’t play the blame game, this will lead to a dead end.Better you let the dust settle and may be put across how you feel later. If they understand it’s cool, if they don’t you be cool love!.Mudslinging is more tempting than one can imagine. Nah! You don’t wanna do that.
- Choose them NOT ego! They are wrong and you know it! It is okay at times you have to lose the battle to win the war.
- Nah! Don’t try correct them, correct yourself. No one likes being told they are wrong, nor would you. Try and see what you can change about you to make things better between the two of you.
- Agree to disagree. Believe me no two individuals are same under the sun even if they are siblings then how on earth do you expect a person coming from an altogether different family be the same as you? It is okay to disagree.
- Listen don’t hear! Lend them an honest ear. Try to see their point of view. Try and put yourself in their shoes.
- Walk the talk.Show them what you would like for them to do. It is only fair for you to yourself do the things that you would like them to do for you or with you.
- You must practice what you preach. Principles! We are on about principles here. You need to show them in action what you would expect them to do and practice.
- DONT have sex, make love. Incase you thought so, no they are not synonymous you must make love to them not have mechanical sex. Let your mind body heart and soul express your love for them.
- Ask for what you want. You are well within your rights to ask for what you want coz they belong to you and you belong to them. Cut on all the formalities.
- Always be a friend first and let the love follow. It is very important to have the comfort zone with the one you are to spend your life with. You shouldn’t have to think million times what are you are to say to them.
- Know each other DON’T try to understand. Do you know them in and out? You need to. Understanding comes automatically as soon as you know what they are like. Just know them well. Good knowledge of each other is utmost important.
- Difference is cool! !You like coffee, she likes tea. Don’t have to have coffee if you like tea. And it’s FINE. They are pure spiritual and don’t follow religion per se and you are a devout religious and that’s all cool!
- Keep it real, CUT the formalities only do and say things if and when you mean them. Buy them a presie? Sure can BUT only if you wish to mean to please them NOT coz you are buying for everyone and so you must. Nah! Not nice! Keep it real.
- Remember equals you are! Man and woman. Mind you though, he can’t become her and she cant become him.Somethings are just meant to be- what I mean is he is kinetic energy and you are his power. You work together to make things happen. Just water and fire, different you are and that is all it is.
- Strengthen each other You must become each other’s strength at best. In the times of need you should be the first one they should want to reach and no one else. Give it all you got to ensure you strengthen them emotionally, mentally, personally.
- Confidence in each other. This is vital and key to a healthy husband and wife relationship. People keep bragging about trust! Nopes! It’s all about confidence and trust just comes naturally. Have confidence they will never harm you, they will never let you down and THAT I tell you shows in your behaviour. Your confidence in them will speak volumes about your relationship with them.
So if we ace these 23 things, will our relationship be rocking? For all you know it might, it might not. Likeliness is it will provided you have the intent. Probably thinking no arguments, rows, disagreements, whatsoever.
I am thinking why is it that we require to be told things as such as THIS? Even worse, we want ‘tips’ to better our relationship?
To make a start at some point is important and if you are sitting here reading this you have made a start. So! Good luck you mate, happy married life!