Marriage? Seriously? Are you kidding me? That means I will be a wife and I will have a so called husband? (I will be a husband and I will have a so called wife) Wow!! And what about my life, my dreams? Who cares? And what if your ‘to Be’ is not keen on it Then why shall I go for it in the first place?
This is a general conversation that may take place between anyone who decides to marry or be in a relation. And it won’t depend on the gender.
Today, be it a male or a female if they feel that their individuality is at stake, if their dreams are at stake, if the male and the female involved are not okay with each other’s choices, don’t know what they want and can’t express themselves then the relation won’t work.
Yes, marriage is the highest rated relation in the Indian Culture, believed to be a God’s blessing as the 7 pheras taken are a promise made by considering the Agni Dev to be prime witness.
But is that only sufficient for a successful marriage?
Honestly, NO, A big NO.
There is a lot that goes into a relation or a marriage for it to be successful.
First and foremost, the understanding between the individuals involved.
And even before that, an understanding of your individual self. Reason, why you want to be in this relation and what you expect from it as an individual.
Are you marrying because of parental pressure, peer pressure, society pressure or do you really want it as an individual?
Because, from our young age we are made to believe that marriage is the ultimate ‘GOAL’. Ha ha..A big laugh there.
But, think about it.
What are the reasons that some marriages are smooth and some are not?
What are the reasons some last long and some end in divorce?
What is the root of the underlying emotions that cause the turmoil?
Well, according to me, it all stems from your early childhood or your teenage based on the relation that you had with your dad, mom or your siblings (brother or a sister).
It all depends on what kind of understanding you had with your parents, with your siblings, what kind of friends you made (Males, Females) and how you view these genders individually.
For Ex. At a young age you may have seen your parents struggling to earn money.
Then you automatically tend to believe that money is more important.
At times you may have seen a husband beating his wife and you may tend to believe that it’s the right thing to do.
But, on the other hand you have parents who are very caring, give each other space, they respect each other first, their choices and strike a balance between their dreams and family time.
So you will believe that’s a win-win situation. And you may automatically believe that it’s the right thing to do.
But again, it all comes down to your individual upbringing of what you are taught about both the genders male and a female, and what you feel about them?
For Ex. Based on your experience, you may feel that male is powerful or you may feel a female is powerful.
It all depends on your perception.
It may happen that as you grow up and go out in the real world you will find many mixed traits of these behaviors across genders.
But, before you go or decide to be in a long term relation just think, what you want from it as an Individual. Is it love? Physical Contact? Money? Or Just a Meer satisfaction?
Because, you may start a relation for fun and it may end up in a very serious attachment situation or vice versa.
Hence, it is very important to know your objective of what you want from a relation as ultimately, that’s what the next generation will learn, follow and adopt.
Because, currently in India, marriage is about families first and later individuals.
But, believe me, it doesn’t work that way.
Make it about individuals first,
Because, when you understand each other and have respect for each other the choices that each one of you make will shape your future and your children’s future.
So, understand that, relations are all about understanding each other, along with the responsibilities that come up and If you are ready as an individual, mentally, emotionally and physically then only step into it. Else, do not ruin each other’s life.
Because, you may have Sex as fun, but the girl might get pregnant and then we all know how it goes.
So, let’s all be mature individuals and decide instead of just jumping into it just because for the sake that you have to.
Right? Think on it!