Who doesn’t love being in love. It’s probably the world’s best feeling. And spending all your life with somebody you love deeply is the biggest fortune.
I was in love with a childhood friend for around 8 years and we both were so much in love. I was almost there finishing my college and he managed to get a decent job until then. I was happy as I knew only if he got settled, will we be able to have a married life ahead. It’s not all building castle in my own mind. Well, he had promised me so. And I believed him the most in this world. As they say, love makes you move mountains, so we had planned a lot on how to convince our parents for our wedding etc and he was pretty sure of adding his surname to my name. I was scared but trusting him on this was the best possible choice I had.
While I was still in college, he moved out of the city to carry on with the new job he had grabbed. I was extremely upset to miss him for days untold but that my man is a settled one now was something that made me stronger and in turn, I tried keeping him stronger that nothing would change and our love would stay the same.
We got busy with our works but we’d make each other our first priorities and never missed talking to each other for a day. It was his new job so he needed to invest a good amount of time and energy into it which I could understand so I told him to take care of the work while we were good anyways. I’d always be there in the background even if he misses to talk for days. I simply said I’d understand. He promised the same.
Days turned into months. Some days we went taking so much and some days we just couldn’t catch up and we were really fine with it. Touchwood; a mature love is all I always wanted in life and this seemed totally a resemblance to my dreams. A self-respecting girl, I got busy into my exams and couldn’t talk to him much because studies kept me busy and I couldn’t talk later night because my parents started living in with me at my place for a month. He called and I missed his calls and then I somehow tried to reach him back sometimes but alas! He’d not respond. Fortune kept playing hide and seek with us. And this happened for many consistent days. I thought he’d understand like I kept doing earlier so I didn’t exaggerate much owing to our great bond of trust and confidence in each other. This ignorance happened unfortunately for around two weeks. I got a text from him of his suspicion of me getting into with someone else. I tried calling him to explain but he didn’t pick up.
One fine day which turned out to be ‘not at all fine’ for me, I got a text from him. The text that shook off the floor beneath my feet. He wanted to break up with me. Of all the promises made to me over the years, is this what he chose for me?? In the first scenario, what did I actually do to get such a horrible proposal from him. Break up!!! Not even in my dreams. I asked a lot. But he left me without an explanation. I cried, I waited. I slipped down my phone and walked down the lonely streets. I seemed lonelier than the abandoned streets. I kept moving but just couldn’t move on. How could a love of around a decade just move on in a few minutes? How could he really get over me?
Moving miles, I reached to a huge hoarding that we both use to stand in front of and gaze at it for hours talking of love and dreaming our future. The hoarding had a beautiful image of a couple in love and we could see each other in it. Suddenly the rosiness changed into a feeling that no more existed in my life as the tides of time and sands of the shores. I could see my hands slipping off all of it. The image lost its lucidity and was all blurred like my blurred life. It turned quite dark and I got a call from mom. I wiped off my tears and pacified my trembling voice and assured mom that I was safe and would return home ASAP.
Next few days I picked myself up and coped up the terrible pain to give myself solely into my exams. I wasn’t somebody who’d stake her career and sit up in a corner. I needed to be fine with myself. Finally, my exams went off well and I was all free for weeks. As we say ” an empty mind is a devil’s workshop”, weird memories and thoughts sprung up in the forest of my heart. I felt vulnerable without him. I wanted him so badly that I just dialled his number and then hung up immediately. I kept my phone and slept teary-eyed. Suddenly I woke up to a call from him. I pinched myself and opened my eyes wide enough to check if it was real.
Yes, it was him and butterflies came running like the spring to my withered spirits.
“How are you?”
” Did you write your exams well ?” Said he.
I couldn’t speak a word. I was all into tears to hear him after ages. The gateway of my heart just cherished his words and revived me back to him. My silence and sobbing were all that prevailed. He kept silent for a while as if hearing my silence made him fall for me. We didn’t speak for a few minutes and I burst out. Or how wouldn’t I? No matter how much strength I had and the self-respecting girl I was, a love of a decade couldn’t keep me silent. It needed answers. It had to question. It wanted him to stay for we were so good together. A period of a few days of absence cannot deny years and years of togetherness.
He kept silent at this. I coordinated with his silence. The next moment I could hear him whispering and sobbing. He had never cried before. His reactions told me he still was not over me. And yes, how could he be!
He added to it in a whispering tone that he missed me. He missed me every day, every hour, every moment. A few days of ignorance made him overreact but he just couldn’t hold himself out of me, no matter how hard he tried. His ego didn’t let him call me first and love couldn’t control him to call back seeing mine. I was on cloud nine. But a dilemma prevailed deeply.
One part of me was happy to know both of us are still into each other. Another part of me was in a dilemma. How can I go back to the person who left me for a few ignorant days disrespecting the love of so many years? I know it’s love that is bling but being a responsible girl who respects herself more than anything, I couldn’t allow this. It’s okay that love wants to return but why did it actually leave in the first place.
Why second chances?
Why couldn’t a first chance stay?
What about his love and his vows?
I couldn’t convince myself to allow this and I kept quiet and hung up the phone.
Months passed into years and I joined an internship into a leading daily in another city and became a journalist which was my most awaited dream. I don’t know how but I always got a text from him whenever I reached a milestone. Love always kept finding its way towards me. This would melt me but I never imagined myself and him again. I had heard about him too that he was going really well with his career and somehow I was happy though unbothered.
I returned home in vacations and it’s always a treat to return back to your nest and spend days with mum and dad after months of staying away from them. Later that day, mom came up to me when I was sitting in the balcony and told me maybe I should marry. I’m enough of having lived alone and I informed him that there was nobody I look forward to. She shocked me with mentions of Rahul (my first love and my only love ever).
I said, ” What about him?”
“He wants to marry you. He knows we’d never agree on being into different communities. Still, he came up to us and expressed his earnest desire of marrying you a few days back. He told us not to tell it to you before you return home or else you’d be sad alone in the far-off city and start upsetting yourself.
Rahul isn’t our community guy. We’d heartily disagree to him. But you know he keeps visiting us sometimes and even helps dad with his medical requirements and keeps cheering him up at weekends. He switched to another company and stays in this city now and he never told you this.
He still loves you secretly and not only loves, but he sees his entire life in you. Like you people used to be from years. The friendship desires a lifelong partnership. I like him and I know there’s nobody in this world after us who’d love you like this. Maybe you should think about this beta.” Said mom and left for tea.
The same moment I could see Rahul and dad on the lawn downstairs having such a lovely time. He made me ponder over thoughts of us. His love seemed to be so wonderful. Somebody loves me and my family like this. Isn’t it amazing? I felt mad at him. I felt like falling in love with him all over again. Like we say a fresh start.
I didn’t look or shout at him. I just stood silently by the balcony being barely visible to him and called on his number. It was the same old song he had put up as his caller tune which I used to sing for him. How could love be so adamant? But his was. I wondered. The moment he picked up the phone to see who it was, I saw the world’s most favourite smile on his face. The most lavish yet the most simple one was right there waiting up for me. He picked up the phone and I could still see him with a cute and silly look which spoke words of happiness yet amazement.
Before he could say something, I said, “I love you. Once again ! All over again !”
I could see him smiling like idiots. He just slipped his phone down and rolled all over the lawn as if he got his life’s most awaited dream. And I got him too. I went down and saw the same smile on my parent’s face lighting up their blurry eyes. We were a bundle of joy cheering up the love and blessings around.
I held his hands and walked away from mom dad. We had loads to talk, loads to scold, loads to fight and loads to love.
If things are going the wrong way. Wait and be patient. I wouldn’t say to wait for a love that’s unsure or a love that’s unrequited or a love that’s already vanished. You know the one who really wants you will not find excuse but do anything to have you and trust me on this. True love truly moves mountains and doesn’t hide behind them. Make sure you understand the difference. Sometimes first love is who you marry as your last love. Sometimes you marry your eternal love. Sometimes it’s love after marriage. Everybody has a unique story to tell.
Love that stays is a pure bliss.
Love. Be calm. Hold on.
It’ll all be fine in the end.
And it is not okay, it’s not the end.
Happy endings do exist. It all depends upon where you end your story!
And today we sit up, happily married on our own car gazing at the same hoarding and the same couple twinning together in the frame.
They don’t look better than us. Lol.