I’ve always been hearing that “someone somewhere is made for all”. They often say”marry them if they are the one”. I am quite fascinated by the idea of meeting that one who everybody keeps mentioning.
How do we really find that one?
How do we really know if we’ve found that one??
And how to contain that one throughout this life?
What if I feel ‘maybe I’ve found the one’ or what if ‘maybe not’? So many Maybes and maybe nots in life. Aren’t they tiring!
And it’s not easy to understand who’s meant for us too. It’s a huge dilemma.
I have a friend from school. She had probably met her guy whom she felt the sparks lighting inside her heart with and knew he was the ‘one’. We were all so sure they’re perfect together. We knew they’d marry. They were the ones for each other. I ended up knowing that they lost confidence in each other few months back and a relationship of so many years just vanished. I wonder how after finding the one, this turbulence occurred. On the contrary, did this really happen because he wasn’t the ‘one’ ? Gawd! Seems like a Panic. Okay, let’s not stress into all this. Mistakes happen, stuffs happen. We don’t really stress our lives so much thinking what would happen further and life simply flows.
It happens with the passage of time. Love fades a bit away and things like that keep happening. But if love just disappears and seems never to return, what else do you really want then?
It’s difficult but isn’t you yourself more important than every other person who’s just pushing you into despair.
And so the biggest problem here was that she just couldn’t pick herself up even after this wrong that he did to her and the times when she could have understood that ‘he isn’t the one’, were the times she didn’t really realize and time went ahead of her to make her realize stuffs in an even severe manner.
I’ve seen her guy moving ahead with someone else and she seems stuck behind in the tides of time and just stuck up. What went wrong here? Was it wrong of them to meet? Was it that they couldn’t hold themselves together anymore? Was it that he ditched her or she betrayed him? What was it that they proved being the ‘wrong ones’ for each other?
Some say it’s destiny while some say it’s the outcome of our own actions. While my friend says she’s happy that she tried and for the good times she had and I respect her opinion. While it’s hell tough time for her to recover from this emotional trauma. Time heals and that’s all we can say. But yes, he wasn’t the ‘one’.
Talking about another person. Riya talks about his fiance Rohan. She says she’s happy with him and is so looking forward to seeing him each day with her. I was happy to know this. While, she told me something more that drifted me into a feeling of extreme suspicion. I doubt whether she’d really be happy with him. Rohan treats Riya as a beautiful girl and keeps telling him that his siblings are happy to get a beautiful sister-in-law. Fair enough! Added to this, he’s happy that he is bestowed upon with a ‘trophy wife’, the one he can proudly flaunt in his social circle. He wants her to do great In career and work all her life, irrespective of ever bothering how she’d manage work and home. He’s of the idea that like all his friends and family, Rohan and Riya would earn all their life, settle abroad and live a lavish life. Riya is happy but I see a tinge of dilemma in her drooping eyes that silently lose their sparkle talking all around. I kinda feel she’s not happy with the idea of Rohan treating her like a jackpot and she simply wants to be happy in a small world where she and her life partner stay happy and content. And this, she doesn’t see with Rohan. I know this the very first instant she talked out. But she doesn’t want to realize this. She doesn’t want to really understand he’s not the one. Will she be happy with him? “No” is the obvious answer.
Why do we have to be someone’s second chance? Why do we have to really settle with what we don’t want to? Is life and Marriage full of compromises? Okay, even it is, can’t we compromise on a negotiable note that we and our relationships both live happily? I wonder why do we as people judge our would be’s on the basis of the lives we or they are living. I wonder why either of us have a set of guidelines for each other. If only Rohan would have asked Riya what she wanted out of life and they’d compromised on a median, wouldn’t their Marriage and life after be satisfactory. Yes absolutely. But to feed your curiosity, they are married now and I think Riya has managed to keep herself occupied as per Rohan’s set guidelines for her. I see her smile all the time, while I don’t really knows if she’s happy. But she did tell me, Rohan isn’t the one she wanted in life and she had a chance to make things right, which she didn’t then.
Marriage isn’t a toddler’s play. You cannot just leave something you aren’t liking. You have to cope up, you have to strengthen the weakest links and you have to make things happen even if it’s difficult and bring out the good from the bad days. So, instead of paying the price later and succumbing yourself into the nuptial arrest, think wisely and then perseverance is the key.
Like they say, “it’s better to marry long, than to marry wrong”. Take your time. Everybody has their own time. Just because they are getting married doesn’t mean you should to.
Marry when you want to, when you like to, when you should and with whom you feel the connect.
Trust your instincts. If you feel something is wrong, it actually is. Do not wrongly estimate your instincts for the first ones are always correct. If you feel he or she is the one, go ahead. If life makes you feel they aren’t the one at any point of time, back off. Don’t give wrong chances to yourself.
You deserve to be with the right one.
You deserve to be happy.
You deserve to be the pilot of your life.
If you know they are the one, good-luck for life. If you know they aren’t, have patience.
Wait for the one who knows your flaws and loves them. Wait for the one who loves your beauty and your scars equally. Wait for the one who knows you aren’t perfect and doesn’t want you to be one. And above all , wait for the one who makes you a priority, because that’s where you belong.
When I met my ‘right one’, there was something about those days and nights and life. He was one bright star in the entire sky crowded with millions and there was a reason why he shined the brightest and why others went unnoticed.
Nobody ever took my name the way he did.
Nobody existed in my vocabulary and he became the only word I love.
Nobody’s stare ever looked so pleasant.
Nobody really loves me the way he does.
Nobody knows to be a better husband than him.
Some days I keep panicking.
Some nights I keep roaming like mess.
There are days he knows am crazy.
There are nights he sees me turning weird.
One those nights, one thing that turns me out of my shell is that look. Nobody has ever looked at me like this.
And that’s how I know he’s the one !