Lines blurred between facts n fantasy- Long distance- A virtual reality?

Meeting someone online and falling in love with them! Excuse me, did I just say falling in love? What? Online? Whoa! that is taking this far too much?

Isn’t it? HOW can one fall in love not meeting someone in person? rather  let us put it this way, falling in love virtually? Sorry that is way too confusing, isn’t it? I just realised it too. This entire discourse reminds me of Bicentennial Man! remember? How that pretty lass fell in love with the Bot? She did though, didn’t she? Am I wrong to suggest, it IS somewhat similar? I reckon, I could well be wrong. Why? well coz love is in the air! It is quite literally everywhere I look around.

Yup! Everywhere you turn your head around you hear ‘love’ happening in all crazy-whacky ways!

When I say crazy whacky I mean people haven’t just gone crazy to meet their one through platforms such as dating apps and stuff?

I feel I am ancient coz I somehow find it hard to relate to it all.

I agree we are living in the world that is booming with digital mechanics of all sorts, aren’t we? But hey! dating online? mmmmm! Not sure!

Certainly NOT my cup of tea. What I do tend to realise with time is that it is something that is gaining slow credibility somehow. I am beginning to somehow believe it is possible.

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A good chance of possibility after all. Online, I mean. Just as one would personally meet someone you are instead spending time talking to them online. It is still very much possible to be able to connect on very many levels such as

  • Common grounds- Wanting/looking for someone to spend your entire life with.
  • Quite literally finding a date
  • Simply, running into each other where ‘falling in love’ is an eventuality that occurs.
  • Likes, interests, hobbies or plainly that ‘spark’ the ‘attraction’ that gravitates the two to each other.
  • Distraction from loneliness and angst. Looking out to connect to someone REAL YET UNREAL if you see what I mean. More often than never people have reservations speaking their heart out to someone they would meet in person. That is simply coz they fear being judged, being laughed at, ridiculed. They long a connect so here is how they make this possible- Online!

That said, Iam not discounting the fact that it still is a challenge to surmount and survive the challenges of the long distance relationship or love.

Given that we are always surrounded by temptations of seeing a ‘real person’ and liking them for who and what they are. As I suggest the ‘real person,’ Don’t get me wrong I never mean to say that the person you have met online is ‘Robot’ or ‘Not real.’

What I do really mean is coz we are a complex make of senses that likes to KNOW a person through seeing-feeling-touching-hearing and like to relate to that person in very many ways. For instance the fragrance that your girlfriend / boyfriend wears would often remind you of them, won’t it? THAT is real.

Although come to think of it, online you still do get the sense of it all. I do personally feel though it is slightly incomplete, isn’t it? Well I tend to think so.

Again coming back to what I was saying, it is very important for us humans to be able to make that connect at the physical level too. To be able to touch, feel and be able to spend time with them getting to know them better.

Pretty sure you are still able to understand and get the hang of what a person may be like through innumerable pictures, email exchanges, lengthy online chats, video calls. It just feels that this might at times be a bit frustrating coz they are there but not there, if you see what I mean?

Big question is- Is your love strong enough to cope with the problems and challenges of the distance and sail through happily. Would you realistically feel as secure as you would if you had the person close to you and accessible to you as and when you wished them to be?

Perhaps NOT impossible but difficult YES! However true is the fact that the intrigue that is built in the long distance relationship is very romantic or is it romanticised –

Absence of someone makes the heart grow fonder? They say?

Don’t we play hard and want badly the things that happen to be difficult to attain? Besides that, I too do feel that as much as we tend to romanticise, idealise the person we are so in love with, we tend to forget there are bits we still need to know about them that may be gets skipped coz you don’t really spend time with them.

Possibly little things like their quirks, little idiosyncrasies etc etc. Not important bits but those that makes a person a complex mix that he is. He can’t be all mills and boons Mr.or Ms. immaculately flawless? can they? no they can’t.

It is very possible to carry on your long distance relationship provided you don’t forget to ignore or overlook the reality bites that it so involves.

  • You cannot meet your someone as and when you desire or long.
  • Miss the hugs, kisses and that special touch.
  • A Row! how can we miss that, couples have an argument all the time. Distances either hush- hush it coz as it is you are far apart so don’t wanna make things worse arguing over little things. The little things that perhaps NEED talking out. Not that it is not possible but something still goes amiss.

So what do we do? How do we handle this situation?

How? is a difficult question to answer however not impossible though. The HOW of it really would depend on the two involved in the relationship. There are some generic ways I feel that might work fabulously for the two.

Surely this is a tough shit, excuse me my language but I do feel so. TOUGH coz it will demand more time and attention than it might perhaps in a normal seeing someone. Here I go

  • Make time for each other. Plan times, slots that work for the both of you from your respective busy schedules.
  • Connect and reach them in all your individual capacities. You really should do no matter how demanding it might be. They mean to you! You gotta give them your precious time. Text, calls, video calls, Skyping may be! whatever it takes.
  • Be honest and open to each other regarding important aspects of your life that they need to know about. Like you would if they were physically with you.
  • As much as it is impossible to kiss and hug them no one is taking away the words and sensuality from you, are they? Be generous in voicing, expressing how you feel for them. Don’t shy away just let them know how badly you miss them, want them and would like to feel them.
  • You wanna make a strong foundation for your future if you both wish to see yourselves together. You 100% have to work and invest a lot of time, dedication, commitment to this relationship of yours.
  • Lastly MEET UP! Very important part of it all. You have both spent mountain of time knowing, understanding each other. Now, it’s time for real butterflies, flutters to make its beautiful way into your lives soon to change and feel more real. Actually ALL REAL!

Time to be able to touch them, feel them, kiss them, hug them, hold hands, deliciously lace fingers with them and oh why not-  spice it all up by bit of an argument by all means lol! Its a ritual you see, why miss that.

Make this virtual reality a reality that is surreal.

Meetup, cuddle up make it all REAL!

Let loose yourselves and take a  high on a cocktail of ‘fact n fantasy!’

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Tanvi Kumar

About the Author

Tanvi Kumar

Hi My name is Tanvi, I am a freelance journalist and a writer. Love to express and connect to people. My writings are essentially a part of me. Mainly done writing, involving different styles, from educational to spirituality and travel to various facets of lifestyle.Always been inclined to art. Explored and experimented with all sorts of art. Be it painting on a canvas, creating a wonderland with edibles that tickles your palate, chiseling an attractive world of ideas that can be conceptualized into something working or simply sculpting a world with words with a tang of personal touch. Coming to think of it, anything starting right from crafting, cooking, ideating. Love them all.Besides that, I have a great interest in tarot and spirituality and I feel both of them go hand in hand. Iam an impulsive Tarot Reader, Rider Waite and plain playing cards being among my favourites. Like to think it’s a Devine tool guidance. Omnipotent has means and ways to reach us and is above everything and everyone. Right from the beginning I always found myself penning down my most heartfelt experiences which would always lend such great sense of fulfillment, almost cathartic! Before I realized it grew as a passion and all my strongly felt emotions, experiences, spun into poems, prose and articles. Never hesitated to pen down any promptings that I felt coming from within.This is who I am, this is what I do, I write. Just a few words about who Iam. Iam a mum of a two year old. And oh! No it’s not easy being a mum! Is it? But it’s surely worth all the hard work. And that’s how my freelance career kicked off. Ever since I had my little man, I found it rather tough to juggle between work and looking after the non-stop demands of a little wailing baby. I had turned almost a zombie when I reluctantly decided to freelance. Coz I loved my job at Morrisons. my career didn’t quite start as a writer, though always writing, never disconnecting from the writer inside me, I continued looming up a world of words that found its expression in varied forms. Like any other 20 year old I was enamored by the thought of being independent and the quickest way to do it was a BPO! Well who doesn’t like making money? To be fair, it wasn’t all that bad actually. I realized I loved to connect to people, loved to have a nice laugh with them, strike a rapport, try to help them with all my capacity. Soon, I had a calling from within surely that’s not what I wanted to do, I wanted to write, to express, to reach to people. Which is when Times Group happened; I was a part of online division. Always having a bent towards doing something creative. Times threw me an opportunity to do just that. The job required to me ideate, conceptualize, write for different events. What I enjoyed most was the radio bit, I have sung jingles, broadcasted the forecast subjects Tarot and Astrology. It was all so creative and fun at the same time. Getting married, straight after which I had to leave the job as we moved to the UK, where I started working as a freelance journalist, writer, content developer, alongside working at Morrisons at customer service. Been a part of Aceville Publications, Edge Allen, Morrisons in house magazine. All of us have dreams and aspirations in life. And so do I To be successful, to make a difference. That’s what I would like to do, that’s what I aspire to be.

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