Love urgency & Husband and wife relationship during pregnancy!

‘Hurrah! We are pregnant’ moment!

You can’t contain the excitement of sharing the exhilarant thrill of  prospect of being the new daddy and mommy! Your wide smiles are infectious! The new little ‘to arrive’ family member is the spring of all the elated commotion. Time for celebration it’s time for fun, time for a lot of excitement as you feel the promise of the tiny toes kicking through to make their fond way into your lives filling your lives with merry moments to feel the precious joys and loyals of being a new mum and dad!

Oopsy daisy IT is trying! Moment of confusion?

Soon as the little bun starts to bake, the excitement takes the shape of many unexpected things. Ofcourse its all new to you, you are still absorbing all that it entails being pregnant. Husband or the wife both start feeling the change as the bun happily bakes inside. Sleepless nights, irritability, lots of whinging-whining, you still are trying to decipher why. You go with flow taking a deep breath hoping it gets better. He is thinking- What the hell is wrong with her? Blimey! She acts like a retard! Happy one minute and next minute she is pool of tears. You are doing all in your individual capacity but she still keeps grumpy. Whatever is going on?

Hang on honey! You decided to get pregnant right? It is surely NOT easy. It takes a lot to get there. It is only a beginning, you gotta stay calm and be empathetic towards her. Even if confusion surrounds you, read up a few books on how you can cope with your wife during this very trying phase.

Love the way she looks but she just never seems happy! Blah!

You adore your beauty in the making of your little addition to family but whatever is up with her? You love her rounded self, her beaming skin, the glow, her quirks you love to put up with. Why isn’t she happy still?

Oh well! It is a big change her body is going through, you both got pregnant but she carries the baby. You only can see the change in her body, notice her rounded belly, her duck like waddle, her bigger boobs. Think about poor mommy to be has to put up with so much, she is carrying an individual inside her. She is undergoing an immense change to cradle your baby in her womb. You see her cry but dunno how she feels that its making her cry, you see her throw up but dunno what that metallic taste feels like, her ankle looks swollen but you can imagine how she still manages to carry on the regular chores gracefully even with those extra pounds on her. For all you know she keeps whining, moaning, temperamental, unreasonable. Don’t worry you are doing the best you can and trust she does appreciate it. She might not appear happy but realise this IS a normality!

If anything, tricky-tacky-trying it feels! Stay mindful, learn to manage emotions!

Amidst this change do you realise this relationship between the two of you is bound to change as well. This happy yet confusing transformation is bound to affect your relationship in a very big way too. It can be challenging, very trying and tricky all at the same time. You are doing the best and so is she. At times two of you might feel so in love just like new love birds from the planet Venus at times feel like so alien to each other like you have never known each other in the first place. Trick is though to stay patient, mindful of what is happening and why and figuring a way, learning to understand and manage your emotion will help you in a very big way undoubtedly help you through this phase and strengthen your connection with your beloved one.

She needs you more now!

You might notice the level of dependence increase. The things your wife was able to do all by herself, now she is unable to and she needs you almost for everything, even to tie her laces. Rejoice that you are getting a great chance to show to your beloved just how much you care and love them. Be there for them, with them through this difficult phase. Do as much as you possibly can for them.

Accept and embrace the change. Expect pregnancy to change your dynamics.

Having a baby is a process that involves a very lengthy period of 9 mammoth months. During this phase staying committed to the reason-having a baby and understanding its only a phase till the little one arrives- will go a very long way.

Being aware of the change that this phase might bring will prepare you in the ways you cant imagine. You will be dealing with the change in a much better way coz you are well aware things are NOT the same no more and all that is happening is for the better, for the good of the both of you.

Can’t get cosy no more!

You are sad coz you are not getting a chance to get intimate with her. Be more considerate and understanding. You know do the orals! Understand that she may or may not be comfortable having a full blown sex at the minute. Happy you and happy her. Do the orals! Cuddle snuggle up!

‘She doesn’t seem to want me’ moment!

Don’t feel like she is rejecting you she is just not in a very nice frame of mind or the mood coz mostly she is throwing up feeling ill. Understand that she is doing something very important for the both of you. Rolls her eyes at the very hint of you wanting warn n nice intimate moment. You go what the hell is wrong with her. Earlier on she would just jump on you at the very sign now all she does is roll her eyes, turn around and just ignore you!

Sex starved? Remember it is just a phase!

Absence of sex, intimacy at times might take a toll on your relationship but really you have to stay patient and mindful of your situation. Take Doctor’s advice, they reckon it’s safe may be what is important when you are expecting a baby is that she feels safe and secure if she doesn’t feel like it. Let your imagination go wild! Have fun with tongues and hands may be? Importantly remember it is just a phase.

Hit the standstill? No movement?

You might have shared a hot passionate blissful relationship full of bounty of satisfying sex and never ending bottles of wine and laughter but now you might feel like all life is- is arguments and fights and you may be feeling super miserable about it. You almost as though the life has come to standstill, no movement in life whatsoever.

Guess what you feel miserable beyond words!

Everything put together is all getting far too much for you to put up with. You just wanna run away and tend to think if this will ever end? The endless temperamental throws, the crazy tears, mood swings. You dont wanna talk and she doesn’t seem to make any conversation either. The lack of understanding flares up arguments, you wanna go out while she chooses to stay at home(whining? Phew! What do you do?) So much so you start doubting your relationship with them due to the annoying tiffs with your spouse.

Do you wanna get naughty love? Infuse humour and fun

May be a cuppa, a bag of chocolates or her favourite nibble and a lot of good gossip can help lighten up the mood. Getting cosier with your beloved when they most need you in a way that they appreciate will be a gift for nurturing your relationship. Also, a great opportunity to consider if they would like to make love to them, talk about their fears and whether they would like it or wait till they are 100% comfortable with it.

Love sure doesn’t need to go back burner!

It is the urgency of love that husband and wife relationship needs during pregnancy. Even when things seem to have slowed down find your right time and pace for love to blossom and intimate moments to fire to your heart’s desire.

Tanvi Kumar

About the Author

Tanvi Kumar

Hi My name is Tanvi, I am a freelance journalist and a writer. Love to express and connect to people. My writings are essentially a part of me. Mainly done writing, involving different styles, from educational to spirituality and travel to various facets of lifestyle.Always been inclined to art. Explored and experimented with all sorts of art. Be it painting on a canvas, creating a wonderland with edibles that tickles your palate, chiseling an attractive world of ideas that can be conceptualized into something working or simply sculpting a world with words with a tang of personal touch. Coming to think of it, anything starting right from crafting, cooking, ideating. Love them all.Besides that, I have a great interest in tarot and spirituality and I feel both of them go hand in hand. Iam an impulsive Tarot Reader, Rider Waite and plain playing cards being among my favourites. Like to think it’s a Devine tool guidance. Omnipotent has means and ways to reach us and is above everything and everyone. Right from the beginning I always found myself penning down my most heartfelt experiences which would always lend such great sense of fulfillment, almost cathartic! Before I realized it grew as a passion and all my strongly felt emotions, experiences, spun into poems, prose and articles. Never hesitated to pen down any promptings that I felt coming from within.This is who I am, this is what I do, I write. Just a few words about who Iam. Iam a mum of a two year old. And oh! No it’s not easy being a mum! Is it? But it’s surely worth all the hard work. And that’s how my freelance career kicked off. Ever since I had my little man, I found it rather tough to juggle between work and looking after the non-stop demands of a little wailing baby. I had turned almost a zombie when I reluctantly decided to freelance. Coz I loved my job at Morrisons. my career didn’t quite start as a writer, though always writing, never disconnecting from the writer inside me, I continued looming up a world of words that found its expression in varied forms. Like any other 20 year old I was enamored by the thought of being independent and the quickest way to do it was a BPO! Well who doesn’t like making money? To be fair, it wasn’t all that bad actually. I realized I loved to connect to people, loved to have a nice laugh with them, strike a rapport, try to help them with all my capacity. Soon, I had a calling from within surely that’s not what I wanted to do, I wanted to write, to express, to reach to people. Which is when Times Group happened; I was a part of online division. Always having a bent towards doing something creative. Times threw me an opportunity to do just that. The job required to me ideate, conceptualize, write for different events. What I enjoyed most was the radio bit, I have sung jingles, broadcasted the forecast subjects Tarot and Astrology. It was all so creative and fun at the same time. Getting married, straight after which I had to leave the job as we moved to the UK, where I started working as a freelance journalist, writer, content developer, alongside working at Morrisons at customer service. Been a part of Aceville Publications, Edge Allen, Morrisons in house magazine. All of us have dreams and aspirations in life. And so do I To be successful, to make a difference. That’s what I would like to do, that’s what I aspire to be.

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