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We all dream big of our D-Day. We dream! Dream of all sorts of things and specially of how we expect to spend our life with our beloved one. We wish and desire everything at it’s best- starting right from exorbitant interiors, an expensive car right through to little things like what we wish to look as ‘being a couple,’ a perfect match of course! That one person who is supposed to be “our forever”; to share all our emotions and luxuries with. Right from our childhood we are made to believe that marriages are supposed to last forever. The fact it is something very pious. So, in keeping to revering the sacred institution, come what may, we are to make it work. We grow up hearing stories of how our mom and dads have magically made it work. There is always an element of wonder and magic to it. You almost go- Wow! really? looking all dreamy. Even if that asked for compromises, they did it, came this far and are still to cross miles together in this journey called “life”.
But you see life isn’t fair. Beginning to wonder now, if marriages, I mean the ‘wow’ ones, are they really just a part of fairy tales? Why doesn’t everyone get to live a great happy married life?Sadly, for few, marriage becomes a torment. There may be varied reasons- in laws, compatibility, trust issues, unrealistic expectations , domestic violence etc. What should you do if your marriage is not giving you the happiness you deserve?What should you expect?
You have two options: Either you live by it, all it entails- Endless hurting, suffocating relationship, in nutshell just keep dragging on.
Or Face things squarely, accept things as they are find happiness in it somehow
or Choose your independence, live your right to be happy and get divorced and move on!!
For instance. Divya! She tied the knot to this hunk of her’s and marriage was a big fat affair with all pomp and show. Her Mr. Right, Raghav was a well settled businessman in a district in Maharashtra. Diya was a software engineer and lived in Pune. Being a working woman she could not spend much time with her husband and had to resume to work right after two days post marriage which obviously did not give her enough time to understand and know Raghav. Somehow Diya always felt that Raghav did not want her. She still decided to give in her best, tried her best to give it benefit of doubt and accommodate to this funny arrangement of marriage. She tried to mingle with the family and in laws, often went to Raghav’s for long vacation. Slowly she began to realize and observed that Raghav would not come home at nights and showed no interest in her. Soon enough Divya became a favourite with the inlaws and won their confidence. She implored the explanation to this weird behaviour of Raghav. After an awkward silence her mom inlaw embraced her affectionately and what Divya heard took forever to sink into her. Raghav was a gay! SHOCK of a state that she was in, she fell in a heap weeping her eyes off. Mom inlaw all guilty and ashamed joined in and all that prevailed was reverberating cries of hurts, guilt, pain that mingled in sense of waste. What a waste!
Raghav’s mom carried on emotionlessly, in a very cold tone while Divya sat with her knees clutched to her chest as if waiting for the rest of the bad news.
Raghav was a gay and they were well aware of it. They wanted him to marry Divya coz they really loved her for a daughter inlaw and wanted to bear grandchildren. More than anything, they were ashamed of his sexual orientation, wanted him to lead a “normal” life. Normal life? Are you serious? How does it ever get normal if you are a gay and you are forced to marry a girl? It is everything BUT normal. Jeez!
Divya was strangely calm as she now had all her questions answered and she knew what she was going to do about it. She spoke to her parents Alas! instead of empathizing with their daughter they somehow wanted her to carry on the wedding and make attempts to make things work somehow anyhow.
Divya seemed to have different plans. She had decided she was done, done it with it all, her so called hubby, her inlaws, her own parents and ofcourse the ‘sham’ that marriage was. It was then, Diya called for a divorce only to witness stark objections from all sides.
It was as though those piercing gazes were suggesting- sulking is a better than a divorce.
Could that be happening?For real??
Instead of supporting her, people suggested all sorts of funny solutions like -planning a baby. They thought that a baby would be the best solution for this problem, would miraculously work things out.
Well, Diya ofcourse wasn’t stupid, she did divorce Raghav!
Now they are both two independent happy birds but their parents are not happy bunnies and continue to curse Diya for reasons unknown!
Why is separation a challenging task?
Why does society question anyone who wants to walk out of a marriage and stay alone and independent? How can separating from a person that you don’t want in your life be embarrassing? Why is that a big deal?
You don’t get to choose your family-true! But life-partners- you have a choice! Of course separation isn’t a pleasant experience, of course it’s tough but it’s better than compromising life , right?
I am pretty sure when two people get married and give their heart and soul to the marriage, they would have done everything possible to save it. Only after all the possible attempts, divorce is opted. Then, why does the society label it a complete “NO NO” Why does this deserve to be stigmatized?
It is OKAY! it is absolutely okay for things not to be okay and when it is so some hard steps need to be taken.
At times in life ‘An End’ is a New Beginning.
Not everyone that comes along your way in life is meant to stay! It’s completely okay to end something than to live through agonizing truth of having a spouse who is so not it.
A divorce is simply moving away from a relation that gave you all the right reasons to do so. You deserve happiness by all means. Each one of us does.
Maybe you see your better half is more of friend than a life partner. Maybe the two people involved in the marriage are two amazing people as such, it is just so that only the relation they share is completely wrong.
Experiences help you grow!
Totally…’Divorce’ is just ‘the end of an error’.
It is a just a ‘mistake corrected’
You never need to go through anything that you don’t want to. You don’t need to compromise! You always have a choice to better life!
We all make mistakes and no mistake is big enough to put a full-stop to our happiness.
Divorce is not a tragedy , it’s just a chapter.
Get rid of all the insults, abuses and agony of the past. It’s your life and all it’s decisions are solely yours! Put an end to your unhappy marriage and spread your arms wide to embrace a new happy and independent life! The life of your dreams. Dream bigger and better this time for there are millions of people out there.
Dare to dare! Find your forever one more time! Life is unpredictable and way too short, do what makes you happy and celebrate freedom. It is far too precious than you think it is.