Generally there are many and varied subjects in this world which are taught and tutored. That knowledge is also shared with each others. This is done fro several reasons. But the fact remains that some very important facts of life are not even thought about leave alone thought to the younger generations. These important facts are taken for granted. One fo them which is worth mentioning is that of married life.
A man after being a bachelor for certain number of years eligible for marriage. None can deny the fact a successful marriage is challenge posted to him in the so called battlefield of life.
The “boy” who has qualified with noteworthy higher education and armed with a plum job and becomes eligible for marriage. His parents choose a bride for him and with great fan fare, blessings of the near and dear ones he enters his conjugal life. Whatever great intellectual they might be, such intellectuals are not able to understand a woman” s mind and heart, their academic knowledge fails impact of this wisdom. The result is that they are ever in search of pace and satisfaction even though they have all the material comforts and luxuries.
Look from the point of woman. She too is highly educated and well employed. She too got marriage as a gift from her parents. She too loses the life” s pleasures, why this anatomy and incongruity? Where she slipped? What went wrong? She fights at the workplace and home front with all her might. But she loses the battle. The result is the divorce. We know many women are in their life with girl child to rear without the help of the husband. Can a girl who has been brought up without a father’s guidance and love be a worthy person for the society? Can her marriage be successful? How can such children have faith in mean as a whole and how will they trust them?
In a world where both men and women are equally important, how can such a girl mingle happily with boys and men in the general and go on marry one of them in future. She would start thinking that the whole men folk are unworthy because she would have been tutored in that way by her mother. One cannot blame all men just because there was basically misunderstanding between a man and woman.
The same applies to boys who have brought up by a single parent. How will he trust the women in general how would he find solace in a partnership with a person whome he does not trust. This is a thousand dollar question. When We think of the next generation We haunted repercussions of such state of affairs. It is mostly due to the impact of western culture the number of divorces is increasing day by day. That affects the children born to divorcees. It bothers us. It hurts us. There are may be hundreds of laws which separate wedded couples. There may be any number of debates in favor and against divorcees in this country. We are not here to conduct an opinion poll on the necessity or otherwise of divorcees. It is absolutely personal choice to go for divorce for he concerned husband and wife. We are not even thinking of these couples and their future. Once they have decided to go for a divorce they are solely responsible for the consequences, good or bad. We are concerned about those children brought up by single parents. What would be their future? Laws are made to protect us. When they are used to adversely affect our lives their use is questionable. The same laws which are formed for our welfare should not lead us to destruction. This has not been realized by many in our society.
Another problem which bothers us gravely is the noble idea behind the institution of marriage. Marriage is an institution which binds two persons throughout their lives. To break it right in the middle or early in their lives is not at all justifiable. Now give a moment to the girl’s father has to labor a lot for his daughter. In these days if he has to fend for her studies he has to work and save lacs of rupees for her marriage also. At every stage, be it looking for an ideal match, or the meeting of the prospective bride and the groom, the engagement and its paraphernalia, the bride’s father has to struggle a lot. Then he has to make preparations for the marriage. It is daunting task for him, both financially and otherwise words cannot reflect his joy on seeing the invitation card of his daughter’s marriage.
Although he had started to save her marriage from day one, he has not been an easy job for him. He does all these without any expectation except the benign smile in his daughter’s face whenever he is tired of his exertion he forgets himself in the slogs to do save enough money for her jewels, clothes and other material comforts. Marriage is a beautiful institution which has been created in order to regulate the desires of a man and woman and unite them which enough codes of conduct. There is a purpose behind this ceremony. It teaches the bride and the groom through various rituals how a man and woman can find success in the marriage if there is a spirit of give and take between them.
Marriage is a long lasting custom and tradition from time immemorial in Indian country, it such a tradition which is unique in this world and we can proud of such an institution. It declares the women are wedded to each other never to part until their departure from this world. The western world has observed this institution with great awe and wonder. It is a known fact that physical desire is the most basic and vital one. Even great sages have lost their balance and dignity while encountering such vital desires. But it is the same thing which becomes the basis for the continuity of human race. It becomes therefore to understand the difference between the vital desire and the vital desirre which has to be regulated through certain rituals and laws. The bride and the groom come togher in the august presence of their relatives, near and dearn onces, the particulars and matriarchs of both the families and their blessings. All these invitees stand testimony to this marriage.
It is said that in those days marriages used to extend even in five or six days. The couple gets to know each other in this proximity to each other. It is not that the physical bodies become united together in a marriage. It also consists of coming togetherness of two minds and two hearts two thoughts and their feelings. Only when such unison takes place between the couple, the marriage is said to be consummated. There is a mental and physical satisfaction to both the persons and that leads to a trust between the couple. Such persons are ready to take up new challenges in in life knowing well that his or her life partner will stand as a solid support in all his or her endeavors. When the minds and hears unite the marriage is said to be successful. It is a matter of surrender of the wife to her husband and vice versa. It is a stepping stone for a strong bond among the members of a family.
It is because of such a strong institution. Indian couples have the unique record of longest marriages. There are many couples who have married for more than sixty years. It is said that the bond of love between the couples increases with the passage of time. There life becomes interesting for them. Men is strong both mentally and physically very rough and tough. Woman is soft and delicate. But a balance is being created in a marriage resulting in the birth of a new generation. This new generation is a result of happiness between two hearts, minds and bodies. Such a new life in the form of a boy or a girl is forced to side with either of the parents in future due to divorce. One should ponder over how would be the mental attitude of a child towards the institution of marriage. Such child, when it grows up may not believe in marriage at all. But his or her physical and vital desires will seek wrong paths and methods to get fulfilled. Such adult boys and girls will be drowned in unlawful activities.
Hence divorces must decrease at any cost at least for sake of the bright future of our next generation. It is to be understood that quarrels and disagreements between husband and wife are add interest in their married life. In those extend themselves and result in divorces not only their future is jeopardized the future of their own children also. Therefore each couple should think thousand times before they embark upon divorce. They should realize that difficulties to be faced by a single woman or a divorced husband are far less than the mental difficulties to be encountered by their children.
Another point to be noted by the couple especially the wife is that the bride’s father spends lakhs of ruppes for her daughter’s marriage which is otherwise is his life’s savings. He will undergo tremendous mental agony when he comes to know that they are sparated now and all his savings have been wasted. Even the husband should give the thought that his father in law has spent so much for the marriage and whether it is fair on his part to squander the money by divorcing his wife. The father of the bride has done meticulous preparations for the marriage right from engaging a marriage hall, to inviting hundreds of people for the marriage. In the same way the relatives and friends too spend their time and money in attending the marriage, expressing their joy and extending their best wishes and blessings to the newly-weds. They would beverily disappointed when they hear the news that the marriage has been a failure. This point has to be pondered over.
Our ancestors very well knew that problems arising in a marriage cannot be solved by divorces. Therefore the institution of marriage was not on the basis of legal contract. They made it as bondage between the man and woman. Anger is very natural to mankind. That cannot form the bais of separation. Treatises and pacts cannot be useful in a marriage. What is the guarantee that problems will not arise when a divorcee enters a second marriage? Where is an end if this trend goes on and on. If one does not remarry, that is also not good as the person will have to live all alone for the rest of his her life. There will be no purpose of leading a life at all.