The Ten Commandments of a Successful Marriage

Jay left a while ago. Today he gave me an ultimatum. Either I accept his marriage proposal or never see him again. How can I not be with Jay? He is my best friend after all. It has been more than a year since he proposed marriage to me. But something has been holding me back. I don’t know what. The problem is, I am not ready for marriage now. There are so many reasons why I don’t want to marry. The whole marriage concept sends shivers down my spine. Loss of freedom, being dependent, bearing babies and then becoming a “yes person.”

The definition of marriage to me is a civilized form of slavery. Dejectedly I opened the letter he had given me. Looking at the letter, I asked myself helplessly, “Who writes letters in today’s age?”

“Zara, I will not beat around the bush,” she read the letter. It was more of dicta rather than a love note. It contained the ten reasons why one should have a life partner. The note highlighted the importance of marriage. The need for a husband and wife relationship. The commandments went forth in the following manner.

1st Reason: Marriage does not tie you down but actually provide you with wings to fly. Behind every successful man, there stands a woman. Behind you, you will see your husband standing.

2nd Reason: Women have terrible mood swings. The men don’t have a hormonal change every month. To the entire world, you may be a chameleon with dangerously severe shades. But to your husband, you will always be the breathtakingly beautiful rainbow. I will accept all your shades, all your tones. To me, you will be my rainbow. I request you to allow me to be your sky.

3rd Reason: Opposites attract. Two contrasting people can form a beautiful world. There would have been no me and you, and our mother earth if north pole and south pole were not so far apart. Marriage does not mean interference. It actually means intermingling. A harmonious union involves two happy people living together.

4th Reason: Under no circumstances does it mean, marriage makes a woman dependent. As long as the marriage is not a war of egos, there will be no ego clashes. Husband and wife are not to compete but complement each other. In fact, in a relationship, a husband is more dependent on his wife. It is she, who is his backbone.

5th Reason: In the biblical sense, every living organism is created in pairs. Animals, birds, fish and even the trees, they are all being paired. You too need someone to complete you. Why can’t it be me? How long do you wish to remain single? It is about time, you complete the puzzle of your life. A partner is that missing piece of your jigsaw, without which the frame of your life looks incomplete.

6th Reason: Facts reveal when a person stands in front of a mirror and say positive things to oneself. One gains extra confidence. If a mirror can have such a positive effect on a person’s psyche, just imagine what a loving partner would do. The words of encouragement would motivate you. Sincere compliments would boost your ego. The support and care would make you achieve great success. In short, a partner is someone who can make you realize your dreams. All this is possible only when you accept my marriage proposal.

7th Reason: Life is not a bed of roses. Marriage too cannot promise lifelong of romance and happiness. We are sad most of the time with showers of happiness thrown our way from time to time. Similarly, couples do indulge in bitter fights, blame game, and hurl insults at each other. But all is well that ends well. The severe the fight, the better it feels after every patch-up. Too much of sweetness can cause diabetes. Hence, it is important to add some spice to one’s life.

8th Reason: Physical proximity is of utmost importance for every living being. It makes one healthy. Gestures as simple as hugs, holding hands, and massages can reduce stress and boost immune system marginally. Snuggling into the arms of your partner after a long tiring day is all one need. The soothing touch of a partner is the safe haven of every wandering soul.

9th Reason: Bearing children must not intimidate you. Pregnancy makes both husband and wife equally nervous. You feed the baby while I clean the nappies. When you sleep, I will be awake with the crying bundle of joy. You will not bear the baby alone. You will not be pregnant but WE will be pregnant. Moreover, this will only happen, as and when you wish.

10th Reason: It is not the wedding but marriage that counts. If the idea of becoming a bride is making you nervous, let it not. If the whole concept of D-day is giving you cold feet, let it not. Things will happen the way you wish. I love you enough to let go of the bonanza filled with a riff-raff crowd of social parasites. To a partner, all that really counts is a lifetime of togetherness. I am no different from an average man in love.

Folding the letter, I smiled happily. My fingers reached for the last call on my dialed list. “Jay,” I said over the phone. “Yes,” I could hear the excitement in his voice. “You are lucky if you marry your best friend. In case you don’t fall in love with your friend then turn your partner in your best friend.” I carried on, “I am lucky to rely and not depend on the person who is everything I ever wanted.”

“Zara, turn around,” Jay’s voice sounded mischievous. I gasped in surprise as I saw him right in front of him. “This means you never left?” I accused. “This means I was confident of your response,” he confirmed. Taking my hands in his, he was about to say something but I stopped him midway, “There is a major flaw in your covenant.” Looking confused, he asked me, “What?”

“There is no need to take so much of trouble to convince me. Promise me to wake me up with a bed-tea every morning for the rest of my life and I am all yours,” I said with a naughty grin. Planting a soft kiss on my forehead, he promised, “Bed-tea with a sweet peck on your forehead, every morning, as long as I live.”

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