I grew up romanticising an “ideal hubby.” I knew somehow that my prince charming was gonna be my hubby. Not that I would have been denied the right to marry someone else if I DID manage to fall in love. Coming from a very conventional, very traditional family that I am, I knew the day would arrive I would be married off perhaps to someone I would willingly give my heart to, may be eventually coz I knew it had to be an arranged marriage for me coz of the arrangement in my family which is a usual practice.
Even having said that, sparks did flicker, flings did occur, did feel the pull from many that I came across. Some were so fainting-ly handsome they could take your breath away, some were such magnets I knew I was being embarrassingly pulled to without rhyme or reason. Some I knew were nothing but eye candies. All the same, despite and inspite of the time spent apart from casual attraction it never was anything else. Not that I DIDN’T want it, it just never somehow happen to blossomed to that stage of qualifying being called ‘an affair’ to take it to next step. Never did.
Call me crazy, call me backward, call me what you choose to. I never really had lofty dreams of having rosey dates, being wooed, being pursued. Nah none whatsoever. So NOT me. When I say that what I mean is I was never really a game for dating applications or any blind dates just for the heck of it. Never meaning I didn’t wanna feel the love, didn’t wanna be in love just didn’t wanna push things and try and take control till they happened on its own. If anything- I wanted to love my one and in return wanted to be loved. If I did attain that would put me on the ninth cloud, I used to think.
That never stopped me dreaming though. I would often hear the endless stories of HOW being in love felt like. VERY TEMPTING I must say. I wanted to feel it all, I wanted to experience it all but I was happy to wait at the same time. Failed to see how my girlfriends just stayed glued to their phones talking to their respective boyfriends/fiancee for hours together with all the tacky mush. Boy! I wanted to do that “mush” lol! I would feel jealous. I wanted someone who I could say endless – I love you’s to, I miss you’s too. Tackier yet, call them -love, Babe, Shona, Jaanu! Hearing all of which melted my heart for the softer emotions I felt for them. So in love? How can one be? It almost felt magical. So beautiful!
So I was just stocking up these details in my heart and mind lol! For it to come handy at later stage in life. Nah! I am joking. All I am trying to say is love intrigued me, coz all I ever felt was attraction, bewildering pull, chemistry with many. Mostly unreasonable.
I was determined to make the best of gf/fiancee and wife. All this while life went on with nothing exciting ever happening. Suddenly I am told we were to see a guy, well no! My alliance? So were they trying to set me up with a guy and just like marry me off? To anyone? NO WAY! That wasn’t happening. What happens to my falling in love? Not like this was news to me, I should have known this was coming at some point.
Anyway against my wishes, reluctantly I agreed. As I entered the room with a tray of goodies and a cuppa my heart skipped a beat as my eyes got laid on this pure ‘handsomeness’ my jaw dropped, I found myself gawping at him. Even as I felt completely stupid at my silly teenager like behaviour I realised I was rewarded by a bright smile that stole my heart instantly. I froze, that instant was crazy, everything came to stand still. All I was aware of his being, beard he wore, body a perfection. How that shirt clung to him, showing off his shapely self. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me. I somehow made myself believe this had happened to me before- ‘attraction’ it was alone! So I told myself sternly -just coz papa wants us to be married nah! I need to spend some time knowing him & rest can be decided later. Gotta take this slow
It was declared we were to be married and I was fuming. We were given some space to chit-chat. I was all cold, angry and all cut and dry. He was all smiles and his handsomeness consumed me. Anyway, he held my hand, I felt flutters at the bottom of my belly, even before I could realise he kissed my hand and gave me a peck.
I was crimson. What do I hear? He says- I really like you, I had a short lived affair. I have heard all about you. It would be my dream come true to marry you. It ONLY happens if you are willing too irrespective of what our folks say. Pang of jealousy took me? How dare he make me his second best? What the hell was I thinking? THAT was his past & the man, poor him, bless him, was only being honest.
I was dazed, I felt his warm gaze never leaving me for a second. His beauty overtook me, his beard only pronouncing his macho beauty. I knew I had already given him my heart. All I managed to do was smile back & say- I like you too & I think its a great idea to spend our lives together. Next moment I was swung in his arms & I knew it was the best-est decision of my life.
Is this what they called love at first sight? So I ran into ‘love’ when Rakesh bumped into my life.
Love happened to me & it IS darn magical
Rakesh- I love you with my all. Happiest to be a part of your life, your wife.