Money can’t buy you love, and, for that matter, neither can looks or an amazing job or any kind of outside material at all. We all know this, but what are the things really more important in a marriage. Here are the few major things that are prioritized over money and external beauty.
1. The Relationship Itself
When we enter a relationship, we think it only involves two people: us and our partner. Think about it: If you have five years’ history with someone, the relationship you share is no longer just about you and them; it also becomes about your mutual experience. Everything from inside jokes to missed trains to fights to reconciliations to birthdays goes on this list, and becomes something of a collected, common, ever-present force. And it is vitally important.
“Looks fade; money comes and goes. What doesn’t change is the commitment to the ‘Third Being,'” this entity we call a relationship”. We nourish that being by honoring our partner, no matter what he or she is going through. Never assume that if you just think of yourself and your partner, the relationship will take care of itself.Keep your joint experiences at the forefront of your mind as you interact with one another, and be sure to be kind, above all. Be gentle with each other.
2. The Way You Handle Conflict
The manner in which you address conflict within your relationship is way more important than material things. It’s also worth saying that everyone has different conflict styles, and yours either aligns with your partners’, or the two of you will have to figure out how to make your differing styles align if you’re going to get anywhere together. Every single argument we’ve entered or issue we’ve discussed has brought us wildly closer together afterwards as a result of their harmonious conflict style. And no, you didn’t read that wrong: It really is possible to have harmony in conflict. And that’s better than a hot bod or mad bills any day.
3. Common Values
Ifyour partner shares your values, everything else is negotiable. And the flip side is less than ideal. If your core values do not add up, then the relationship is already in a precarious position.The rest of life will take care of itself. Little things that you have in common or pique your interest (income, looks, similarities) should be considered bonuses. Life is long and challenging, and you need a partner who has the same overall view on life that you do in order to take on its obstacles as a team.
4. A Sense Of Humor
For me, humor is super important in a relationship, I cannot stand a boring life. Humor is something that is unique to everyone, yet it is my opinion that it is vital to relationships. Many couples forget how to have fun together as their relationship progresses. When they forget how to have fun, the relationship turns sour and everything starts to lose it’s color. If you look around, couples that are laughing together and joking around together seem to have relationships that are amazing; they typically have better conversations and, obviously, more laughs together. There is an old saying, that ‘laugher is the best medicine,’ and I believe it is one of the best ingredients for a relationship too.
5. An understanding of each other’s work and habits
It is very important to understand each other and their work to have a deep understanding of each other’s priorities and committments. The less you know each other, the more is the chances of disputes.
6. How You Get Along With Each Other
How well you get along is paramount. You need to be able to talk about difficult things without fighting. And, you need to be able to be with this person, day in, day out. Do you look forward to seeing them at the end of a long day? Do you think about them when they’re gone, and miss them when they go on trips, and love having long talks about life with them? You’re on the right track. Shared feelings are essential, and the ability to talk about how you feel, what’s bothering you, what hurt your feelings. You have to be able to talk to your partner, and get along well. The ability to solve problems as a team, work together to achieve goals, create the life you want together.
7. Being Super Respectful
Respect is glue in a relationship. It’s what keeps people in a relationship when times are tough, and it’s what keeps them on good behavior. Mutual respect is an absolute must in any healthy relationship. When you really respect the person you’re with, your future is clear. Without it, you actually have nothing. No matter how good looking you or your partner are, there will be cracks in the foundation of the relationship if you don’t respect each other.
8. A Combination Of Benevolent Factors
The things that are most important are definitely not the looks and the superficial, as these will fade. You need a stronger foundation than that. To go deeper, look for someone who really complements you and your lifestyle. Do they pay attention? Do they listen? Do they care? You should want someone with great communication and listening skills that makes a partner happy.
And a feeling of honesty and openness is key. But also, You should want someone who is financially stable. They do not have to be rich, but they should not be struggling.
9. Deep Friendship, Emotional Intelligence, And Knowing How To Manage Conflict
Deep friendship, emotional intelligence and the ability to work through conflict are the Holy Grail of relationship harmony. If a relationship is lacking in any of these areas, there will likely be some turmoil. For starters, you have to be friends with your partner. Deep friendship is the foundation to a healthy relationship. Things build from there. Trust and safety follow friendship. As these elements are planted and strengthened, the relationship grows and matures. Emotionally intelligent partners know their spouse’s inner world, and this nurtures fondness and admiration for them. Emotional intelligence is crucial to relationship happiness. It nurtures the deep friendship, and embodies respect, admiration and fondness for each other, which makes the relationship strong and helps protect it from negative experiences when they occur — because they will happen, even in the best of relationship.
Having this positivity built into the relationship by cultivating an emotionally intelligent friendship will aid the couple in giving each other the benefit of the doubt, and help them maintain an optimistic view of the relationship and each other, which will then help them overcome challenges as they arise.
10. Simple Kindness
Is your partner kind? Someone who can be counted on for kindness towards the people whom they love is an ideal partner for a relationship. Their kindness to others is a mark of someone who fundamentally looks for the good in everyone. Pay attention to how your partner responds to little things that come up on a daily basis. The way they react to inconveniences is telling as to how they will handle larger problems. If they are kind to everyone — even the annoying neighbor, even the unhelpful bellhop, even the dismissive waiter — this says volumes.
11. Empathy, Compassion, Patience, Respect, Flexibility And Openness
As to beauty and finances, Those things do not actually matter. Instead, here are the things that matter most for a long-term relationship: empathy, compassion, patience, respect, flexibility, openness. If you have most or all of these in your relationship on a daily basis, you’re doing great. If you have those, you can build a stairway to relationship heaven.
12. Mental Flexibility
Atop the list of requisite relationship components to be valued way above hotness or bank, Mental flexibility, Being able to see things from your partner’s point of view, and being willing to work on a compromise if necessaryis where it’s at. Being able to communicate your needs and feelings to your partner is critical to your own relationship satisfaction. Trust needs to be present for a healthy relationship. You aren’t automatically in the good graces of your partner’s eternal trust at all times — it must be established and replenished.
And yes, sure, you love your partner — but how do you love them? How do you show it? People feel loved in different ways. Talk with your partner about how you feel most loved and connected to each other. Be as specific as you can and do the things that your partner needs as consistently as you can. It will help keep your relationship strong.
13. Not Expecting To Be Saved
Never, ever, ever-ever-never look at your partner as your savior. We are all just trudging along together; no one can save you, and you can’t save anybody either. In this context, I always think of the quote, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Don’t expect to be completed, saved or fixed by your partner. No one can fill the void in your inner self. You’re setting your partner up for failure if you expect them to fix your problems and love you through your unresolved issues. So, yeah, don’t pick your partner only because he’s got a pretty face or she can buy you as many pairs of shoes as your heart desires. But equally don’t choose a mate because you think they’ll be able to save you. Heal your wounds and neediness. Then seek out another soul who has done the same to partner with you.
Relationships based on the things that rise and fall and come and go, such as money and looks, often have a built in expiration date. Apart from all this, relationships that are based on eternal beauty and assets like understanding, love, care, commitment, humility and friendships continue to travel the farthest destinations. Because, they say a happy marriage is two people who don’t ever give up on each other, so we need to be on the same boat and look together in the same direction.