Anjum Baba
Anjum Baba

I am a storyteller, healer, seeker, and wanderer. Knowledge cannot be bottled in mere degrees. Even though I hold a Masters degree in English, still, I consider myself to be just a student. I am a voracious reader, prolific writer and big time movie buff. Rules and boundaries have always bored me. Writing helps me break all barriers and dogma. Curious and inquisitive to know about the world, universe, and multiverse, and the beings living in it. Since interacting with the aliens or creatures from other planets is not possible for me now. I would love to hear from my readers and interact with them.

Why Marriages Fall Apart – Part 1

4 min read

For a very long time, I have been looking vaguely out of my window. The only question that haunts me is where actually did I go wrong? I have been a loving wife, obedient daughter, caring mother and an understanding sister. I score 10/10 in all the other relationships. But when it comes to my marital life, I seem to have failed miserably. I know my marriage is crumbling but what am I supposed to do to save it. Just a week before our 7th anniversary, my husband handed me divorce papers.

More than disappointed, I was shocked. I was taken aback by his misdemeanor. He has always been selfish and self-centered, but this act surpassed all his audacity. I was the one who was suffering in this relationship but surprisingly enough, it was he who chose to call it quits.

When I first conferred my dissatisfaction to my mother, she shut me by her question, “Does he abuse you physically?” of course he has never raised his hands on me but is physical abuse the only valid reason to confirm a husband as not good? A husband is someone who takes a vow to stand by his wife, in sickness and health. My husband is the cause of my physical and mental ailment. I am feeling extremely shy and sounding terribly frustrated in stating that my husband leaves me unsatisfied in bed.

During the initial years, it was always his pleasure which was considered as our pleasure. If he is satisfied sexually then our relationship is blissful. The question of my satisfaction never surfaced. A human body has its own needs and desire. It functions as per its setting. Does my husband know what happens to a woman’s body if she does not reach her climax? The world is full of men who have a stark resemblance to my husband. After some time, I lost interest and was unable to be the woman he wanted me to be in bed.

Let me tell you what happens to a woman when her partner does not fulfill her physical needs. The climax is something which is associated with males mostly, it does not really matter whether a woman has an orgasm or not. The way sex is stuffed with health benefits. In the same manner, orgasm too has many health benefits. Here is a list of few remarkable facts why women should reach orgasm during intercourse.

Menstrual Health

Orgasm ensures proper menstrual cycle the circulation of the organs in the pelvic cavity improves. Improvement in circulation due to orgasm ensures that the nutrients are delivered in that area resulting in the growth of healthy tissues. As a result, a healthy menstrual cycle is regulated. Women having intercourse minimum one time a week are more likely to have normal menstrual cycles in comparison to those who have sex once in a blue moon or no sex at all.

Energizes Hypothalamus Gland

Women who reach climax are more fertile than those who don’t have an orgasm. Such women are more confident and happy as their hypothalamus glands are energized. Due to this, appetite remains in check, body temperature does not fluctuate, lesser mood swings, and emotions remain in control. This way pituitary gland also releases the reproductive hormones that make a woman ovulate and release cervical fluid.

Natural Detox

The body receives a thorough lymphatic massage. This detoxifies the body naturally. Natural detoxification results in digestion improvement and a healthy mood. Also helps prevent cancer.

Promotes Estrogen

It increases the level of healthy estrogen making vaginal tissues extremely supple. The best protection against heart disease and osteoporosis. Gives rise to adrenaline rush making a woman feel excited and euphoric.

Boosts Endorphin

Any type of relaxing human contact affects a person’s brain in a healthy manner. Orgasm provides a woman with a deep sense of calmness and relaxation. Endorphins are increased and cortisol gets released. This activity induces a euphoric high due to endorphin. Cortisol which is also considered as stress hormone gets flushed out of the body during an orgasm. Now, imagine the condition of a woman’s body when healthy hormones like endorphin and estrogen are not produced and the cortisol is not released.

Better Brain Function

Sudden and excessive increase in the level of DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) inside the body. DHEA is responsible for enhancing brain function, increase in metabolism and strengthening of the immunity system. It also repairs and maintains healthy tissue promoting healthy skin.

Youth Enhancer

Laugh lines are as sexy as frown lines are ugly. A satisfied woman glows with a youthful beauty. Studies confirm, having sex three times a week without any stress or compulsion would make a person look ten years younger. Men complain that women age fast which is why they prefer younger women. If a woman is satisfied in bed then she would not age drastically way before her time.

Strong Immunity System

Orgasm strengthens immunity by promoting cells that fight infection. Sex is the best way to fight seasonal cold and flu.

Natural Cure for a Migraine

A migraine is quite prevalent among the majority of female species. This act is a natural cure for a migraine. It also treats many other types of pain by increasing the pain thresholds.

Increases Oxytocin

Oxytocin hormone is linked to intuition, passion and social/ communication skills. It is the hormone responsible for the strengthening of bonds and success. The oxytocin levels get increased during orgasm.

In view of so many remarkable physical and mental health benefits of orgasm, I pose my question, is it wrong to ask your husband to make you orgasm. Satisfying a woman in bed is as much his responsibility as it is woman’s to be there for him when he needs her, be it emotionally, mentally or physically. The relationship is not just about sex and intimacy, responsibility or social status. Marriage is the connection between two bodies, minds, and hearts. Everything needs to function in the proper manner to make the relationship last.

After my husband handed me the divorce papers, I did not sit silently. Fighting was out of the question because it has been more than two years now, and we have been doing nothing but fight with each other. Initially, I thought it is a seven years itch which every partner gets the moment they hit the seventh year of their relationship. When I asked him, is it the other woman, he remained silent.

Taking my last shot at the dying relationship, I suggested we meet a counselor. I promised to sign the papers if he complies with my one last wish. We went there and it was in that clinic we came to know so many things about my body. Both of us had no idea how important it is for a woman to relax. If a woman is relaxed, she would create a calm and soothing environment.

Maybe after six months, he would choose to change his mind or maybe he will change his partner. But now, I don’t have to live with the guilt of being a bad wife. Anyone, be it, my family or friends, in case they accuse me of being wrong, I have my counselor to prove me right.

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