An emotional affair and a looming divorce

Sunita had that perfect marriage any woman in the world would love to have. Sunita and Raj had been married to each other for the past thirteen years, wedded with a full celebration on December 25,2000.
They had two lovely kids, Aryan and Isha, both twins of the age 10.
But, as the whole world erupted in cheers and celebration on that countdown for the New Year of 2013, they were dreading every ticking number of that countdown.
It seemed the end of the road for their perfect love story and their bond was bound to break for sure.
But, how did they reach this point of break -up in the first place? Read their story to find out how they dealt with their situation together…

It was the day of January 1, 2002 that they received the good news of their bundles of love.
Sunita was over the moon when she got to hear that she would be having twins within the next nine months.
Raj was ecstatic and they had gone out shopping all over the town for all the baby stuff they would be requiring when they would be welcoming them soon.
It was good to ready before hand, plan in advance right?

She successfully gave birth to her two twins and they set forth together on their new journey of parenthood with much wonder, anxiety and of course sleepless night!
It was NOT easy dealing with two tiny newborns as their first children , but they held on to each other to ease out their schedules and take care of their babies.
Sunita slowly realized that it would not be easy to handle her job(in her IT firm) after her maternity break.
Her kids required her full attention , even if she was able to doze off for a few minutes!
She coerced Raj to resume his job from office to avoid the mayhem and the tiny tears at home.
She willingly took a break from her career to care for her munchkins and Raj resumed his long hour office job, often returning late from work.
Their life revolved around caring for their growing kids and their family time with them again.
There seemed to be no time for each other and they had become totally absorbed in their job roles as home -maker and bread-earner…
This cycle slowly started creeping into their intimacy as they were too tired to even talk it out or share their emotions of growing distances.

Sunita would sometimes think about sharing her feelings and stress related to handling those little monsters and the house throughout the day.
But, a voice inside her head would say that Raj was working so hard to support their family.
Would it be right to put more emotional pressure on him or ask him to help her out with the kids or the house?
As a mother , was n’t she supposed to take care of the kids since she was at home and had quit her job for them?
She would push away these thoughts and concentrate on cleaning the kitchen or running after their kids.
Their life slowly entered the same montonic cycle of work,kids, home, little sleep and no rest or intimacy.
Raj was quite absorbed in his upcoming projects and was quite proud of Sunita for being able to deal with motherhood so fearlessly, all single-handed.
She never complained nor made him feel uncomfortable even after they had their kids.
Their ‘alone time ‘was now replaced with ‘kids time’ and she seemed to be enjoying her time with them.

Time passed by quickly and their kids were now almost seven years old. They went to school and she would be battling her house hold chores and getting things ready till they reached home.
But, she was not the same doting mother now. Something had changed inside her and her soul screamed to be freed from this unbearable pain.
She loved her kids to no end. But, Raj….they had become like two boats sailing in the same sea within each other’s sight , but no wind to push them towards each other…

Sunita would wait for the clock to tick 9 in the morning and quickly drive in her car to Frenzy, a restaurant she was frequenting since the last six months.
This day was no different.
She finished her chores and drove again to the restaurant to meet Sumeet…
He had been her office mate and and the one best special friend she could rely on at the oddest hour.
But, she had started confiding her inner most feelings and pouring out her heart to Sumeet as a habit.
Raj was slowly drifting away from her heart and she started getting emotionally involved with the kind-hearted Sumeet.It was turning into a fatal attraction and she was gulit -ridden, depressed and frustrated with herself.
She blamed Raj for not taking out time for her and Raj was completely unaware about her state of mind.
Not that he did not notice his wife feeling stressed out and lost in her own thoughts. But, he feared conflict and argument with a moody wife and would think it would be better to stay away from any tense situations.

It was the day of Christmas, in the year of 2012 that Raj received the shock of his life.
He had planned an anniversary surprise for Sunita to relive those days of romance and love again.
He rejoiced thinking about how she would react when she would turn the light on !

He had returned early from home that day to plan it out with Aryan and Isha.They were all waiting with bated breath for Sunita to return from her “Sunday-Shooping” as she would say every time.

There was a light fidgeting with the lock and the door swung wide open to their surprise. Sunita did not come so loudly, she was a gentle knocker.

They could see the silhouette of a man at the door and he was carrying someone.
Raj felt his heart thumping in his throat and laid his hands on a knife in the shelf .
He was worried for his kids, what if he was a thief or a murderer ?

Raj switched on the lights to attack them from behind and to his utter amazement dropped it on the ground.
That was his Sunita in THAT man’s arms, giggling and smiling while looking at each other.
They were completely unaware of what had happened and when she saw Aryan and Isha did she suddenly get down from that man’s arms.
Raj was dumbstruck and at a loss of words.What had happened just now?
He pinched himself to make sure what he was seeing was actually real.
Aryan and Isha had the same shocked expressions on their faces.

He could not sleep for a week and it looked as if their marriage was over.
Of all the things he could bear, this was one thing he could not tolerate—cheating and infidelity.
Sunita cried for hours on end and said that her relationship with Sumeet had not been physical.
But, was it easy to believe that given the huge shock Raj had received seeing her in another man’s arms…

They were not able to forget that day or forgive each other for their shortcomings. Their families and close friends got involved and suggested that they seek professional counseling and try to save their marriage from divorce.

With help from their parents and in-laws, they started attending couselling sessions every week.
They were able to open up about their faults, expectations from each other, their misunderstandings and how to communicate about their needs effectively.
Sunita was advised to not try to be perfect in making her home and ask, communicate with Raj whenever she needed it. She had assumed that he would step up and try to know what her needs were and this was where the problems had begun. She was very guilt about Sumeet and she promised Raj that she would never confide in her feelings with any one in the future and try to give her 100% attention to him again.
Raj was advised to help her around the house, take out time for Sunita and try to work lesser hours whenever possible to stay with his family when they needed them.
They were slowly able to forgive and forget to prevent their marriage and their family from breaking up.

So overall, through their experience and the counselling process, they were able to learn to communicate with one another, expressing their needs and becoming responsive to one another, they were able to forgive and rebuild trust, they learned a great deal about themselves and each other and in the end created a marriage that they both felt good to be a part of.

If an emotional affair and a looming divorce can be prevented from breaking up a marriage, then can it not help prevent many other marriage problems?

Are you dealing with similar problems or know someone who is trying to cope up and save their marriage?
Do extend your helping hand and reignite that love in their marriage once again with marriage counseling from our professional marriage counselors.

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