‘Marriage,’ I heard someone say ‘is destined to be troubled!’ Well whether or not we believe that, it is surely true that no relationship under the sun happens to be without its fair share of problems, challenges and issues. Trouble is coz we are human, we lack sight, we just expect things that shine and shimmer today, will remain like so forever. But says who over the time things don’t lose their lustre. They do, don’t they? So do relationships. The trick is in keeping reviving, reinstating the lost glow. You need to work-rework, persistently work on things to ensure you keep it going. Not just keep it going, keeping it healthy.
Wedlock that was consummated with all pomp & show with the lofty expectations of things being ‘happy ever after’ ends up bewildering you when things DON’T go that way. It doesn’t always pan out the way we expected. What we don’t realise is that -Marriage too happens to come with it’s baggage of highs n lows & good n bad times. You perhaps thought coz love felt like the real thing, it wouldn’t fade.Strained, do relationships get with time. Love does lose its charm. One thing leads to the other, differences, disagreements, revulsions, avoidance of each other, reasons only best known to the two involved.
Emotionally you feel detached with them. The disconnect gets overwhelming & you feel its all gone with the wind. Salvaging the situation seems impossible.
How to keep marriage healthy. Honestly, there are no hard and fast rules to HOW, my how might differ from your’s right? But the one thing I can say of experience is that in the times of distress when nothing seems to work, its is Him who walks you through things, should you lay your trust in Him.
Holy Scriptures are NOT sheer scriptures they are arsenal for the problems. Problems in life, problems in marriage.
1)Don’t give up. Love, hope, faith & patience just never tire. 1- Corinthians 13:7
2)Forgive Be forgiving & considerate to each other Christ. Ephesians 4:32
3)Protect your marriage. Its not two but two joined as one. Matthew 19:6
4)Keep confidence in Him1 John 5:14 -He does hear us each time we call for Him. Matt. 6:13; 1 Pet. 5:7]
5)Let Him be your guide Proverbs 3:5,6 – Trust in Him to guide us through the difficult roads. Don’t lean on our own human understanding.
6)Answers exist, find them 2 Timothy 3:16,17 – Scriptures provide to all good works. If solving marriage conflict is a good work, then the Bible will tell us how to do it. Other people may help, but we must reject any ideas that do not agree with the Bible.
7)Husbands must love their wives should love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25,28,29). Wives should love their husbands (Titus 2:4).
8)Choose love Ephesians 5:25,28 – Love can be commanded because it is a matter of the will. We can choose whether or not to love, just like we can choose whether or not to obey any other command.
9)A lifetime commitment Read Romans 7:2,3; Matthew 5:31,32; 19:3-9; 1 Corinthians 7:10,11 – Marriage is a lifetime commitment. One can Scripturally divorce a mate only if it is done because he/she has committed fornication. If we have unscripturally divorced, we must seek reconciliation with our spouse or remain unmarried. Remarriage is not an option.Obviously one should never want his/her spouse to commit fornication, so it follows that each one must sincerely hope for the marriage to continue.
10)Must provide for each other’s sexual needs 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 – Since the sexual union is upright only within marriage (Heb. 13:4), the man and wife are to fulfill one another’s desires for sexual affection. They are not to voluntarily separate except by mutual consent for a temporary time for spiritual purposes.
11)Wife must be good to her husband Genesis 2:18 – It was not good for man to be alone, so God made woman to be a companion for him. A woman who fulfills her God-given role is good for a husband. She was created by God for that very purpose.
12)Husband must appreciate Proverbs 12:4 – A worthy woman is the crown of her husband. If so, then let the husband express appreciation for her. [Prov. 19:14; 31:10]
13)Husband must honour his wife 1 Peter 3:7 – The husband should give honour to his wife. Yet many husbands give much more criticism than they give honor. How often do you deliberately say or do something intended to honor your wife?
14)Wife must respect her husband Ephesians 5:33 – Because the husband is the head of the wife (v22-24), she should respect (reverence) him. Surely this includes expressing appreciation for him.
15)Husband must love his wife as his own self Ephesians 5:28,29 – The husband should love his wife as he does his own body, but the body communicates its needs so the head can make decisions according to what is best.
16)Must make a righteous judgement John 7:24 “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.”
17)Spouse is gift indeed Genesis 2:22 He made woman out of man, took a rib out into a beautiful woman coz He didn’t want him to be alone. She was His gift for the man & to be kept & loved.
Truth is, nothing is impossible for Almighty to sort out or figure a solution for. All we need to do is lay our trust in Him & let Him guide us. We at times forget that the Omnipotent who has made this whole universe is capable of moving mountains if the need be. When problems do arise, already there is a safety net of solutions in place to help us through the difficult times. Though, at times there is a need for us to ask & surrender…that’s exactly how far away we are from Him. Surrender your problems, worries, difficulties, leave it to Him & see how solutions emerge.
Are you feeling you are lost & marriage is going nowhere. You feel you can’t control things any more? Well, fair enough, this does happen. Marriage woes, is just a small part of bigger problems in life. Should you face any, reach out to Him & He shall see you through.