A breakup can break your heart into a million pieces, scattered all over, memories grabbed by the scruff and dumped onto the ground.
It is just not easy to imagine, deal with and get over a breakup; especially if it was a long-term relationship.
Many a time we hum the club pop song,”The Breakup Song” composed by Pritam which is about celebrating a break up rather than being upset. But is this really true and possible in real life?
Can we move forward and leave behind the past in such a cheerful manner, seeking love again in the near future…
For the most committed lovers who we so madly in love with each other, this is just a farce.
With a huge emotional trigger, coping and accepting is not everyone’s cup of tea. The miserable partners often become easy prey to depression of various levels.
An extreme level of depression, when not recognized can ultimately lead to suicide…
Here are a few differentiating factors between the healthy (normal) and unhealthy(abnormal) signs of a breakup. So, whenever you feel down in the dumps or see a friend suffering from post-breakup symptoms, just scroll through and tally the symptoms.
The healthy and normal signs are,
• Crying, sadness, and loneliness
• Fearful and jumpy at the smallest reasons
• loss of interest in regular activities
• anger and frustration
• insomnia also called the loss of sleep
The unhealthy and abnormal signs are,
• sleeping either too little or too much
• an increase in movements like pacing or hand-wringing, or having significantly slower speech and movement
• feeling drained of energy for most of the day
• feeling worthless and good for nothing
• difficulty concentrating or making decisions in tasks
• feeling sad, empty, or hopeless for most of the day nearly every day
• loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed
• weight loss and loss of appetite, or an increase in appetite and weight gain
• loss of self-esteem and confidence to move forward in life
• thoughts about death also called suicidal ideation
Both sets of symptoms are depressing to read about, but a normal recovery will occur within a few weeks with feelings of wanting to resume a normal life.
If it is the opposite and the above -mentioned symptoms seem to get worse, then it most probably is depression.
Coping and support
• Diverting attention by involving the depressed person in outdoor activities like hiking, long nature walks, physical workouts, swimming, trekking can help boost their dull mood and those endorphins which help boost the mood.
• If physical activity seems too strenuous and non-appealing then opting for some creative hobby like art, photography, travel, reading books in a public library can help change the track and promote some positive attitude through a display of their emotions in a fresh manner.
People who are the end of their emotional spectrum tend to display new colors, patterns and intellectual abilities under stress-it is their stress buster in short.
• Sleep will be the last thing on their mind due to the feelings of depression and negativity. But, trying some meditation, massage therapy and tiring bedtime routines can help in preventing insomnia for a long time.
• Relying heavily on family support and hanging out with close friends helps to recover and share the burden of recovery from severe depression and suicidal tendencies. Positive people who have dealt with similar situations in the past can share their experiences to help them feel that they are not alone in dealing with this. There is hope in the end if this phase passes by without leaving behind any trauma or psychological damage.
• Reconnecting with long-lost friends can trigger the nostalgia of childhood and lovely reunions can help ease the pain.
• Involving in social work like visiting old age homes, orphanages, terminally ill cancer patients can help them face the reality and value of life. It can help them acknowledge that their situation is in their control unlike that of those suffering from such never-ending trauma.
• Immersing in work by planning business brainstorming sessions and organizing charity events sponsored by their company is a good way to become productive and financially functional.
• Joining with support groups which connect and help people who are dealing with a breakup, mental illness, suicidal tendencies, and divorce. People connected together on the same platform can share their unique stories, situations, and progress to encourage each other in coping and learning from similar situations.
Some solid advice for those in a suicide crisis
For the suicidal people on the verge of risking his or her life by taking unnecessary risks like dangerous driving, unexpected or unusual farewells to family and friends, contemplating means to kill themselves like acquiring sleeping pills, guns, or other lethal chemicals and the like, here is some sound advice or rather questions defining your self worth above your failed relationship;
• Was your ex-partner respectful enough to leave you in the middle with a proper reason?
• Was it a proper commitment from the start with a solid YES or NO from their side?
• Do you think it is really worth taking your life for someone who has the least respect and concern for your present emotional state?
• Even if they were to return back to you, could you guarantee that they would not break your heart again in the future?
• Do you want to wait endlessly for them to say YES and miss your chance of vengeance with a NO to them if you meet again in the future? Why not turn the tables around the cheater?
• Staying alone is not the end of life. You WILL find someone better if you wish to live further…
• Does one breakup with a loser make your life totally worthless?
• How does your ex-partner’s immature behavior define and change the meaning of happiness in your life?
• You need professional counseling to heal the heart and mind. Take it and give those suicidal thoughts the go-by!
Practical tips when suicide attempts are imminent
• Call the emergency helpline number or 112 if you are staying in India.
• Never leave the person alone in a room or allow themselves to lock up.
• Never try to yell, threaten reason or argue with them
• Try to silently remove any harmful devices like knives, guns, chemicals, pills, kerosene from the surroundings.
• There are many Non-Profit Organisations in India which provide voluntary, professional and confidential care & support to depressed & suicidal people. Almost all of their calls are free and confidential, so give them a ring when necessary.
> 1Life: 91-78930-78930 (24X7). Email: email@example.com
> SUMAITRI: 91-11-23389090 (Mon-Fri 2pm to 10pm and Sat-Sun 10 am to 10pm)email: firstname.lastname@example.org
> Lifeline Foundation: 91-33-24637401 / 91-33-24637432. Email: email@example.com
> Aasra: 91-22-27546669 (24X7). Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
> Vandrevala Foundation: 1860-266-2345 / 1800-233-3330 (24X7). Email:email@example.com
> Sneha India: 91-44-2464 0050 / 91-44-2464 0060 (24X7). Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Now, it is finally the time to give somebody the boot your tormenting ex-partner and set yourself free again.