No breakup is easy , be it a short-lived one or after many years of courtship. Even the seemingly rigid person who usually acts indifferent will surely feel devastated as it shows no signs of decreasing the agony.
Breakups hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t respect and appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss. Isn’t this so very true yet so very difficult to handle when you have to go through it.
You have taken a break from your daily routine and strewn the floor with your ex-lover’s photographs, ready to be dumped or burnt forever…
But, the pain still does not seem to go away and God forbid anyone pronounces your ex’s name by mistake in front of you, you fly into a rage!
The most difficult part is dragging yourself towards normal routines, normal eating, feeling healthy mentally and physically and last but not the least—resume your work.
This is what we are going to concentrate on today since an average person who is fully employed spends almost eight hours at their workplace everyday and for the part timers –there is still a five hours fight ahead to concentrate on work.
1) Close the virtual world
With unlimited access to social media and those never-ending notifications ringing almost round the clock, it is time to mute and logout. You may be easily tempted to look at your ex’s profile photo and relationship status and wallow in grief and agony. It is a never-ending cycle since you can do nothing to end the pain after the breakup or a divorce. No matter how difficult it may be be to logout and shut the phone for some time , it Is the best solution in the current situation.
Relentless crying and mourning over the past will only give you a throbbing pain in the head with aspirin as your sole survivor!
The most common symptom and after effect of a difficult break up is self-destruction and inflicting bodily harm. We may have seen the scenes from many Bollywood movies where the hero or heroine slash their wrists ,sleeping pills or get drunk dangerously inflicting pain on themselves. This is NOT good and looks dramatic only on the silver screen.
Yeah, we may have heard of several reports of jilted lovers resorting to such extreme steps to cause pain to their ex-lover and torment them with suicide.
But, does this really work in the end?—A big NO…
Not only do you lower your self-esteem and self-worth but also show to the entire world how vulnerable and suicidal you are! If you decide to move ahead in life with another partner, do you think it will be comforting for them to listen about your suicidal tendency and gimmicks ?
All you need to do is get your gas on and work on transforming your body and personality. Go for personality development classes, gym and yoga training, run in a marathon or even hire a fitness expert.
The change you see in your body will definitely make you feel attractive and desirable and will have all eyes glued to your next move for all the right reasons !
3) Apply for leave
Life is unpredictable and so are breakups and divorces. When you are going through a difficult time in your life , it is better to take a leave and take care of your emotional health. You cannot expect yourself to suffer the hardship of breakup and return to work to give your full effort the next day.
We all need some time to grieve in peace and there is absolutely no harm in doing that in seclusion. This is the time to refocus, redirect your attention towards a new goal to make yourself understand that the relationship has ended and you need to move on.
4) Self-indulge and introspect
Indulge yourself with friendly outings and spa sessions to help your body relax. You need to use this time to connect with nature and your soul. Go for a solo boat ride to hear the silent water and the absorb the calm. You need to understand that the reason you are in this state of despair was beyond your control, you need to take a step back and see the situation without any noise.
If your ex-partner really loved you and wants to return to you, they will. IF they have moved on already and don’t give two hoots about your presence, then it is time to do the same to them!
Move on with your life and your new freedom towards a better partner who will really care for you.
5) Family support
Sadness and grief can be easily overcome when shared. It is very true in real life since you get to know the real people who care for your feelings and well-being after you have broken up. Talk to your close friends and family to prevent any frustration from building up.Most companies provide a counsellor or therapist who can guide you to direct your emotions in the right direction. Talking about your bad experiences and going through what is hurting you the most with a professional will be a very wise decision if you are in emotional turmoil.
Go get a grip and book a counseling session if you need it now.