This story is about two imperfect beings who strive to create a perfect relationship. This is the story of order out of chaos. Love in impossible situations. Kirti who is an ambivert wanders from one career to another. Kirti is indecisive, unpredictable, and lacks emotions. Filled with many flaws and blessed with a strength of steel. Sahil is low on confidence and extremely shy. He is a shark in terms of communication, career and success ladder. The only area where he feels at a total loss is in relationships.
The two of them are fighting with their own self. His biggest problem is premature ejaculation whereas Kirti has major trust issues. This is the reason why she stays away from sex. Both of them have no place for love in their life, thanks to their golden past.
Kirti’s Secret Diary
People often give me unwanted tips on how to create healthy relationships. I wonder how I mean for an introvert like me it is very difficult to reach out to people. The chances of maintaining healthy relationships are quite thin. I have been single for more than five years now. It is not that that I look ugly or lack physical appeal. I just lack the patience to deal with people who are not in sync with me. Topics related to movies, music or trending fashion is a nightmare to me. A couple of times, I tried my hands at dating. But the questions hinting at my sexual activities or turn-ons sent chills down my spine. It always gave me the subtle signal about sex. Soon, I could see SEX written in big bold letters stamped all over my predator’s face.
This definitely does not entail I am impotent or too old to roll between the sheets. The chords of my arousal are connected to my heart and mind. To me, it is a three-stage process. In order to reach the final stage, the person has to first stimulate me mentally. If only am mentally attracted then the chances of emotional bond becomes strong. Only after mental and emotional attachment, the relationship reaches its final stage – consummation.
Strangely enough, all the people I have bumped into, they start the process from the final stage. It is from the final stage, the countdown begins. Maybe, this is one of the main reasons why we have so many cases of failed relationships.
The rise of divorce cases in India is a clear sign of failed communication. Sexual intimacy is definitely very important to maintain a healthy relationship. Relationship counselors advice that it is important to feel your partner on a regular basis. Physical intimacy, casual kiss or a warm hug sends positive signals to the receptor’s brain. Such gestures trigger happy and active hormones. Sexual intimacy is important for physical and mental health, emotional balance and strong relationship.
Staying in a good relationship is as important as getting out of the bad/ abusive relationship. The reason for me to remain single for such an abnormally long duration is my past experience. The trauma of my past relationship had left me with serious trust issues.
Last year, I bumped into the broken-hearted club. It is an online private group. The members there are mostly unhappy in love. The reason for me to join BHC was to gain inspiration. How do people behave, react or cope during a breakup. The quest for a new story landed me there. Little did I know at that time, this group would change the story of my life.
There, I met so many new lonely souls. Each one had a story to tell. Some were there just to make new friends, resettle or just flirt. The one to catch my attention was in stark contrast to my personality. He was a good listener whereas I was a verbal queen. My flamboyance intimidated his shy disposition. Soon I saw myself spending more and more time with him. For the records, I am not like this with everyone. Both of us are totally different in front of others. There, he is an alpha male and I am an introvert. When it comes to me and him, in our own space, I am the confident one while he is indecisive.
This one was just like so many out there, trapped in an unhappy relationship. No matter how hard he wished to make ends meet, something always remained loose.
Sahil’s Unfinished Note
Premature ejaculation captures a good part of my browsing history. Not just my browsing history, my personal history too is blotched by dark patches of PE. Surprisingly enough around 30% of males, both gay and straight, are affected by it. Shocking but true, almost all males face this situation at a certain stage of their life.
Premature ejaculation can be described as uncontrolled ejaculation. It can be ejaculation right after a brief sexual stimulation or intercourse. An average man lasts in bed from 2-5 minutes. This is about average men, there may be some studs who can go on and on and on and on, forever. Sadly there are some, or so many of them, who do not fall in any of the two categories. Neither do they last for longer durations nor are they able to last for three minutes straight. I belong to that odd category. The ones who suffer from premature ejaculation.
When I read the stories of unsatisfied partners, I can somehow relate to the trauma of my partners.
Ting! Sahil’s screen lit up with a text message from Kirti. “Why didn’t you complete your today’s journal?” the two of them had decided to share each other’s thoughts on a single platform. Accessible to both of them.
“There is nothing more to add,” Sahil replied dejectedly.
Little did he know, the person on the other end was not someone who gave up easily. Kirti was averse to humans and society but there were some with whom she shared a strong affinity. Sahil was one of them. She felt at ease with him. There was unseen magnetism which pulled her towards him. Maybe his aversion towards the entire concept of “true love.”
The coaxing and cajoling continued from her end. All she wanted was Sahil to open up. Finally, he succumbed to her naïve charm. “Alright, I will share something with you. There is a condition. Delete it after you finish reading.” The message was followed by something totally unexpected.
Sahil had poured his heart out.
Hear Hear My Fair-weather Friends
My allies are synonymous to the digits in my bank book
The greater the numbers of the balance in my account
The larger is my circle of good friends
My lovers are associated with my youth and health
With my ailments, I lose them one by one
The wrinkles on my skin and greys on my head
Sweep away all the fans, followers and ogling crowds
My pains are my own
My happiness is for all
I am supposed to cry alone
And laugh with everyone around
No relatives or friends
Partners or foes
As I submerge in my cocoon
People forget me like the bubbles on the shore
In my decaying days
During the time of duress
The only beacon of light
The one to remind me of life
My creator, my Ma
For you, I live
Because of you, I am alive
Let all the fake ties perish
May all that is shallow vanish
This bond is all I hold on to
Your strength is my guide and might
Hear hear my foes and fair-weather friends
Move away from my ashes
For I will rise again
My flight would be blinding
My roar would rip your heart
My generosity would see no limits
My revenge will be a ruthless surprise
Wait till I decide my time
Enjoy the silence
Savor it with delight
Soon the sky will turn
The stars would shift
A great storm would engulf you all
Let me sleep
Slowly, Kirti’s fingers reached her eyes as she swiftly wiped off a drop of rebel that escaped the shackles of her lashes. The tear was not a sign of weakness. It proved she was still alive. At least in terms of emotions. It was not his pain that melted her. The reason for the great transformation was his truth. The way he stripped his soul in front of her was enough to make her shed her own inhibitions. Hard-hitting, bitter, ruthless face of the world made her realize that her fate is no different from that of many out there. She did not fare any different in terms of love and relationship.
Kirti had got her man. Now, she was on a mission to make him realize he was a man. Contrary to the concept of the majority of PE affected men. They are no less “Man” than the rest of the men. Premature ejaculation does lead to failed or unsatisfied relationships. There are some who do not address the issue and consider it normal. Hats off to their selfishness. However, there are many who are deeply affected by the issue.
There are no noted causes of premature ejaculation. It is a sexual dysfunction that can occur due to the use of certain medicines, a new partner, stress or long intervals in sex. PE can cause anxiety, distress, and embarrassment which will only heighten the problem. This can be treated by medical intervention. But apart from this, an understanding and compassionate partner would be the biggest boon.
Let your partner feel you and you also do the same. There are other areas to concentrate upon apart from his manhood. If he is sensitive down there, make sure you prolong the foreplay. Make him feel your body. Doctors also suggest control method. During early years of puberty, males find it hard to control their ejaculation. With time and experience, they learn how to control. In the same manner, during a situation like this, teach your partner how to control. All it needs is to use your brakes at the right time.
Kirti was completely armored to combat Sahil’s fears. Not only did she plan to pull him out from the dark and into the light. She had also overcome her own demons of past. There was nothing new her past can offer her. All it has are either memories or nightmares. There was no need for either of the two at the moment. As the two stood by the seashore, holding hands, unaware of the future. The two looked ahead at the horizon. The red golden twilight promised all-new colorful memories.