Husband Wife Relationship

There are times in all relationships when things don’t run smoothly. Often, this is because people have conflicting expectations, are distracted with other issues, or have

difficulty expressing what is on their minds in ways that other people can really hear and understand what is being said. Sometimes they just don’t know what to do to make

a good relationship. The following material is about ways of enhancing relationships and working with common problems.

Emotional Support

Let’s begin with emotional support vs. emotional demands. Emotional support for each other is critical. This means giving your partner a feeling of being backed, supported;

you’re behind him or her no matter what. This does not necessarily mean agreeing with one another all the time. Realistically, no two people will agree on all occasions.

What it does mean is treating your partner in a way that says, “I love you and trust you, and I’m with you through anything.”

Emotional demands can damage the relationship. Insisting that your partner spend all of his or her time with you, insisting that they give up their friends or that you both

hang around only your friends, insisting that you give approval of the clothes they wear, making sure that you make all the decisions about how you spend your time together

and where you go when you go out, making them feel guilty when they spend time with their families, making sure you win all the arguments, always insisting that your

feelings are the most important… each of these is an emotional demand, and has potential for damaging the relationship.

Emotional support involves accepting your partner’s differences and not insisting that they meet your needs only in the precise way the you want them met. An example might

be when want your partner to show love for you by spending free time with you, sharing and being open, paying attention to your concerns and needs. Of course these are

important activities, but your partner may often show his or her love by doing things, like sharing home responsibilities, bringing you gifts occasionally, discussing the day’s

events or books and movies you’ve shared. Find out how your partner chooses to show his or her love for you and don’t set criteria which mean that your partner must

always behave differently before you’re satisfied. Remember, too, that the words “I love you. I like being in a relationship with you. You’re important to me.” are not demands

and need to be said occasionally in any relationship.

Time Spent Together and Apart

Time spent apart and time spent together is another common relationship concern. You may enjoy time together with your partner and your partner may want some time

together with you, but you also may enjoy time alone, or with other friends. If this gets interpreted as, “my partner doesn’t care for me as much as I care / need” or “I resent

the time my partner spends alone because they don’t want to spend it with me and they must not really love me,” you may be headed for a disastrous result by jumping to a

premature conclusion. Check out with your partner what time alone means and share your feelings about what you need from the relationship in terms of time together.

Perhaps you can reach a compromise where you get more time together but leave your partner the freedom to be alone or with others times when it is needed, without your

feeling rejected or neglected or thinking of your partner as selfish, inconsiderate, or non-caring. Demanding what you want, regardless of your partner’s needs, usually ends

up driving your partner away.

Your Partner’s Family

For some people, dealing with their partner’s family is difficult. You may wonder how you can have a good relationship with them, or if you want to. Let’s assume at the very

beginning that most parents are concerned about their children. They do want to stay in contact with their children. They do want to see them, visit them and have continuing

contact with them. (You will also do this when you become parent). However, a problem sometimes arises when these parents forget that their children are separate

individuals and that they now have separate lives and that they must make their own decisions. Some family members volunteer a lot of uninvited advice or try to tell you and

your partner how to run your lives. One way of handling this is to listen respectfully, let them know that you care about what they think and what they would do, but not make

any promises to follow their advice. Just simply listen because they have a need to say it. If they attempt to pressure you into agreeing with them, you must be firm in saying,

“I respect your views and ideas. Thanks for letting us know how you might deal with it. We’ll think about that when we make our decision.” You might need to say this a

number of times before the family members finally get the message that you’re going to make your own decisions even after hearing their advice. It will also be important

that you and your partner be in agreement that you will deal with unsolicited advice in this way so you can support one another in the face of what could be some very

intense “suggestions.”

Money Matters

How do you and your partner make decisions about handling money? Are decisions made individually or mutually? How are the priorities set about how money is to be

earned? Spent? Who pays the bills? How much money goes into savings and for what purposes? How are “big ticket” (tuition, childcare, rent, car payments) items decided

on? Does each member of the partnership control her or his own money or is it pooled? Is each partner expected to add to the mutual income? If only one is to work, how is

it decided who it will be? If you find that you and your partner have differing expectations, it makes sense that you will have to make time to talk about them after stating your

feelings, wishes, and desires and listening carefully to those of your partner. Decisions that might be easy to make when you’re making them only for yourself might be more

difficult when they involve someone else and the best solutions might not be those you think of just on your own. Discussion and cooperation may not provide any magic

solutions to difficult financial problems, but knowing you and your partner agree about how to approach the situation will relieve at least some of the stress.

Coping with Changing Expectations in the Relationship

Relationships change over time. This is neither a good nor a bad thing, but it is a fact. What you want from a relationship in the dating stages might be quite different from

what you want after you have been together a number of years. Changes in other areas of your life, outside your relationship, will have an impact on what you want and

need from the relationship. You need to be sure you and your partner make time to discuss your expectations and negotiate responsibilities. The most important thing is that

you need to do a great deal of careful, respectful listening to what each wants, and a lot of careful, clear communication about what each of you wants. Change of any sort

tends to be at least a little stressful, yet because it is inevitable, welcoming change as an opportunity to enhance the relationship is more fruitful than trying to keep change

from happening. Planning for changes together can lead the relationship into new and exciting places.
Seven Basic Steps to Maintaining a Good Relationship

1. Be aware of what you and your partner want for yourselves and what you want from the relationship.
2. Let one another know what your needs are.
3. Realize that your partner will not be able to meet all of your needs. Some of these needs will have to be met outside the relationship.
4. Be willing to negotiate and compromise on the things you want from one another.
5. Do not demand that a partner change to meet all your expectations. Work to accept the differences that you see between your ideal and the reality.
6. Try to see things from the other’s point of view. This doesn’t mean that you must agree with one another, but rather that you can expect yourself and your partner to
understand and respect your differences, your points of view and your separate needs.
7. Where critical differences exist in your expectations, needs, opinions or views, try to negotiate.

No matter how you slice it, the break up of any relationship almost always leaves at least one person asking, “How did this happen?”

The people who ask this question are the ones who fail to recognize the warning signs that point to a relationship in jeopardy. The reasons for which can range from being too involved in the relationship to being too detached.

As they say, hindsight is always 20/20 vision. The insight and wisdom you’ve gained, unfortunately, came in too late to do something about saving the relationship.

But that doesn’t have to be necessarily so, IF you are able to identify the problem in its beginnings and take the proper steps to address them.

So what are these warning signs? Below are some of the more common relationship mistakes that you should be aware of so that when they do come up, you’re in a better position to do something about it.

1. Cultivating false expectations.
Nobody is perfect, and yet, for some reason you may expect some people in your life to be just that. So when they don’t turn out to be the way you thought they should be, you become disappointed and wonder what you ever saw in them.

Now, it’s very likely, that you never meant to set the bar so high. But usually, this kind of expectation is set when the person in question is someone you regard very highly, and therefore idealize.

There is nothing wrong about thinking highly of someone, but remember, that they, just like you, are only human capable of making mistakes. So the earlier you incorporate this fact into how you see people and their relationship to you, the better you are at handling their shortcomings when they arise.

2. Assuming they will never change.
As the old saying goes, “The only constant thing in this world is change.” This applies to everything, including people. The person you now know may be totally different five years from now. This is because events and people in his/her life will affect how he/she is as a person. Whether you like it or not, the people in your life will go through changes and you should be prepared for that.

3. Conflicts are bad.
The next time you run into an argument, avoid the assumption that the relationship is immediately doomed. Remember that the other person is someone different from you and ultimately, will have a different set of opinions from yours.

Given this, there will be disagreements, but that does not mean that you cannot resolve it amiably. In fact, conflicts can help the two of you develop a deeper relationship with each other since you discover more things about that person. And as you work around these conflicts a deeper bond is formed.

The essential problem in any bad relationship is a breakdown in communication between the two partners. No matter what the issues are (money, infidelity, etc.), the real problem is that the two partners haven’t been talking openly to each other about their feelings. This lack of communication is what makes the problems grow in the early stages and furthermore, what makes them hugely difficult to deal with in the end stages of the relationship. And essentially, whether couples go to workshops together, or therapy, or even answer the questions on a relationship quiz together, the real bottom line for any method is that the two people are talking to each other about their relationship.

Too often, talking to each other means fighting with each other. Relationship problems can’t be solved with yelling and screaming and the main purpose of a workshop, or a quiz or therapy is that there is something or someone there to prevent the yelling and screaming from taking over the process.

The therapist can be helpful if he or she does nothing more than to provide a safe, controlled atmosphere for the couple to talk calmly about their relationship problems. Obviously, if the therapist can make suggestions, comments and offer advice to the couple on how to better deal with each other, this will greatly benefit them and speed the healing process. By merely providing a forum for calm, orderly discussion, the therapist can move a couple off of the path towards a breakup or divorce and back into the realm of hope for the survival of the relationship.

The problems may come from any list – sex, money, quality time, control, outside influences, personal issues, infidelity, fear, listening to and supporting each other, but all of these problems can be addressed, perhaps not solved but at least addressed, through communication with each other. If there is no communication, the relationship problems will win out and the relationship itself will ultimately fail.

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur’s youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he’d have to accept her price first: The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises. He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur’s question: What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring monarch spared Arthur’s life and granted him total freedom.

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable.

The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he’d ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she’d been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.

She asked him which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night?

What a cruel question? Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments?

What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don’t read until you’ve made your own choice.

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

Matches made over the Internet often do not last because people end up choosing unsuitable partners and forming emotional bonds before meeting face-to-face, an Australian university researcher has found.

Women were especially susceptible to finding Mr. Wrong, as they tend to be attracted by witty comments or clever emails, said psychologist Matthew Bambling from the Queensland University of Technology.

“You can never assume things are the way they seem online,” Bambling told Reuters on Thursday.

“Just because they can write a clever comment or a witty email, doesn’t mean they will be Mr. Right, that’s for sure,” he said, adding some men use the concept of “netting”, sending emails to dozens of women and hoping one might respond.

Bambling said you can find a partner online, but warned those using the Web to find love to be aware of the pitfalls.

“There’s definitely a dis-inhibition affect online,” he said, with people more likely to exaggerate their good points while hiding anything negative.

“Few guys for example would say ‘look, I’m a middle aged alcoholic who’s been married five times, pick me’. They’re going to present themselves as a good catch.”

He said it was easy for people to quickly invest too much emotionally in an online relationship because they don’t see the full picture of the person they are emailing.

He said some people can also become addicted to the rush of replies they receive on dating websites, which can lead to future disappointment.

Bambling said people can avoid many of the problems by meeting early in the virtual relationship, rather than by getting to know each other only by email.

He suggests couples arrange to meet over coffee after a few emails, which will help people from building up a fantasy image of their match.

“The main thing to remember is to make real life contact as soon as possible if you are to interested in someone, because then you will know if a relationship is a possibility,” he said.

According to Peggy Vaughan, the author of “The Monogamy Myth,” 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriage. In other words, the person who stays monogamous within her marriage is among a growing minority.

Twelve years into my marriage, I can appreciate that statistic. Eric and I are getting to the hard part, where the pressing responsibilities of raising kids and growing two careers could easily blow apart the vows we recited on our wedding day.

Because I want my marriage to stay on the happy side of the statistics, I’ve gathered these tips for how to make marriage absolutely affair-proof.

1. Nurture Safe Friendships: This is the most important affair-preventer in my life. No marriage can give you everything. A husband is going to have interests that his wife will never care about like fishing, hunting, or golfing. So he’s less likely to stray if he can find some good guy buddies with whom to fish, hunt, and golf.

2. Recognize the Drug: Depressives and addicts are especially prone to affairs because of the head rush that comes with infatuation. The spikes in dopamine and norepinephrine we experience upon connecting with someone new fools us into thinking that the sexy man or attractive woman at the bar holds the key to our nirvana and the end to our problems. This is the same as, say, the high from cocaine. Recognizing that that rush is not real, meaningful, or lasting, can help a married person to “just say no.”

3. Keep Dating: I’m serious here. Visiting with your spouse with some regularity–just the two of you and no one else–will bring some very definite rewards to a marriage. By dating, you will learn how to talk to each other again.
In her book, “Mating in Captivity,” Esther Perel urges a client to imagine her spouse as if she has just met him, to put him into that mysterious category again. This is really hard when you got a little one screaming, “Wipe me!” from the bathroom. However, when you can pull it off, I find her theory very effective.

4. Find a Creative Outlet: People get lured into emotional and physical affairs because the infatuation provides an exciting, stimulating place where they are energized.
So to stay affair-proof, you have to find other sources of stimulation and excitement. For me, my blog is that outlet. I can’t wait to log on each day to see what all of my dear readers have to say. When I get overwhelmed by the domestic chaos of our lives, Beyond Blue provides me that outlet where I can create something new, where I can run away, however temporarily, from the stress.

5. Hang Out with Happy Couples: If you’re hanging with a bunch of guys (or girls) that see nothing wrong with sleeping around, you are much more likely to do it yourself. The good news is that the opposite is also true. If you have a set of friends committed to their marriages, you will be less likely to cheat on your spouse.

6. Learn How to Fight: Wait before saying something really ugly, and make sure you weren’t tired or hungry, or in a stressful situation. I’m not saying that you can’t confront your spouse if you’re tired, hungry, or stressed, because then we’d live in a silent world. But, it’s a good idea to recognize situations that tend to accelerate arguments.

7. Be Nice and Listen: “Duh,” you’re saying to yourself. But think about it. This is the hardest part about marriage. Listening. Keeping your mouth closed when the other person is talking.
In my conversations with men and women who have had affairs, the number one reason for pursuing the affair was this: “She listened to me. I mattered to him.”

8. Remember These Tools: Never forget that you have a toolbox of resources to draw on when you feel tempted by an extramarital affair. Here are some tools offered to me by those healing from affairs, insights to keep in mind when you feel that familiar head rush and are tempted to abandon logic for a thrill:

Don’t go there: Don’t put yourself in a threatening situation. Skip the conference in Hawaii with the colleague who flirts with you. If you absolutely have to go, avoid all opportunities to be alone with him.

Gray hairs have been started to surface on his head. He might have tried but ream less glasses couldn’t hide the faint wrinkles under his eyes. He, standing against the glass wall, was sipping his early morning coffee and enjoying lightly falling snow outside. Wife was busy in her kitchen chores. A young, pretty, tall, teenage girl – Angel - emerged from inside room. She reached behind him and enveloping her hands around his body, she whispered into his ears: “Happy Wedding Anniversary, Dad…”

For a moment he felt himself frozen. He was so embarrassed that he couldn’t figure out how to respond his daughter as he again failed to remember his wedding anniversary. For couple of moments he kept on staring at blank as if he was trying to find how it happened. He just turned around. With poignant smile on his face, he put his hand on her head and could hardly whisper: “Thanks, hon…” She smiled and was en route for kitchen.

He was the same person who used to count days for his fiancée’s birth day so that he can give her a unimaginable gift - struggled for hours to find a fresh Red Rose for her - reached early and waited for hours in the parking lot - sending poetic SMSes to her every hour – sitting on a beach and just staring into each other’s eyes – walking bare footed on the sprawling waves and planning the future – Having plugged Blue tooth into ears, talking all night long and having early morning break-fast at IHOP – Reserving a Hotel Room for Jacuzzi Bath - Watching Ball Game with Beer and Pizza and then feeding chocolate covered cherries to each other - He was the same person who savored every moment with her.

While dating, the time-span to be together was limited. Marriage eliminated all limitations. They turned out more passionate and more attached to each other after marriage. Morning started with making Irish Cream coffee for her, she used to made black coffee for him –He made her breakfast and she made his - getting into shower together – Going to work and dropping her to her office – During work hours, their Blue Tooth’s always remained plugged into their ears – Picking her up from work and mostly going to Restaurant for undivided attention – at home sitting in front of TV, talking more and watching less. Nights had always been intoxicating. Touching, caressing, kissing every pore of the body and wild sex remained at ultimate level. Every week end was a new honeymoon. On a birthdays or anniversary, a five star candle-lit hotel room, rose petals on the floor that lead her to Jacuzzi. She was blossoming like a flower. They didn’t know when her stomach was bulged amid giggling, laughing, loving, sharing the joy of being married. Once in a while, she started feeling little uneasy. Medical tests revealed that she is carrying.

The child to be born took the center stage of their life.

Now he was more careful handling her. As long as possible he didn’t let her do any household chores. He was more watchful for her exercise and diet. He used to help her to prepare prescribed nutritious food for her. Every morning holding the tray of freshly cut fruits, he had to literally run around her to feed her, as she wasn’t a great fan of fruits.

Sometimes she felt so overwhelmed that she thanked God for bestowing the moments she always dreamt of.

Now the subject of conversation shifted from romance to a boy or a girl, this name or that name, diaper and outfit, baby-food to adult-food, school to college and present to future of the child who is going to arrive.

And the day arrived, excitement came to an end. In the hospital, he himself witnessed the birth of an extremely beautiful baby girl - Angel. When he held her into his arms and touched her, thrilling waves passed through his body. The feeling of a new life in his arms was incredible.

The life has been changed completely. Focus shifted to baby. Instead of “How are you?” it was “How’s Angel?” “Did she eat?” “What she ate?” “No, that’s not a good for her, I will bring something else.” “Sure I will get your medication too.”

Baby was taking front row. Romance was on the back burner and nobody was looking at whether that burner was lit or not.

Clock never stops. Days and nights are scheduled to pass by. Baby care, baby sitting, office, work, shopping for baby, household chores, first birthday, second birthday….School, high-school and on and on. Marriage comes with responsibilities. Responsibilities made them forget who they were and who they are now. After a long day, they get to home, love baby and collapse into bed exhausted. No energy for romance and no time to sizzle themselves.

This is a common story and complaint of numerous couples, whether married or not. However passionate they may have been in the first few years of the relationship, after a while the passion fizzles out and love-care-romance becomes history.

It has been observed that Love, romance and relationship before marriage is carefree, untroubled. He is he and she is she. They meet, romance, dream and enjoy and get back to their own home. There wasn’t any responsibility and no one to take care of. Both have to please each other, which is always exciting in love.

Unfortunately, as the relationship continues and we begin to focus more on our kids and home and less on our spouse. The relationship starts losing initial spark and we begin to feel a loss of love and romance. This doesn’t mean the basic element love-romance is evaporated or both are fed up with each other. It also doesn’t mean that the bond between two doesn’t exist. It simply means we’ve forgotten to keep the flame of our emotions burning.

Essentially, it is human tendency that We always yearn for what we don’t have and we get unconcerned for what we have. We always run after the thing which is difficult to acquire. Once we acquire it, the significance of him or her always keeps decreasing. Monotony takes the place of excitement. When “Lover” becomes “spouse”, the “spouse” becomes “Ghar ki Murgi” (Home Made Chicken) and “Ghar Ki Murgi Is Daal Baraabar” (Home made chicken is as good as unsavory Pulse Soup). And this tendency of ours gives the birth to the crisis which sometimes becomes difficult to resolve.

Being happily married is not as subtle as you think. There are some precise steps you can take to spice up your relationship. Your marriage blossoms and remains healthy and happy. You can add some seasonings and change the way of cooking so homemade chicken and unsavory pulse soups tastes delicious.

Let try to figure out some seasonings, which makes relationship delicious and modify the method of cooking so that we can have delectable meal of the relationship.

There is no one as good as your spouse:
These days we all have become self-centered, prejudiced and intolerant. We, for a petty reason, fracture our relationship and attempt to find our expectations elsewhere. But there is no guarantee that the “elsewhere” will be better and fulfill our expectations. It is as good as gambling and gambling specially in relationship is hazardous to your life as it never pays back. No matter whatever the people - who have bitter experience - think, it is a fact that there is nobody is as good as your spouse.

Develop Positive Attitude:
A Happy life starts with how you feel about yourself. If you have a positive outlook on life, then you are likely to share that happiness with others. Whatever your outlook may be, you can always work towards becoming a better person. Knowing and working on yourself and your own happiness is the first step to finding happiness in your marriage. Whenever any crisis arises, try to find out the source patiently, tolerantly and come to the positive conclusion. If both of the candidates try to develop positive attitude, there won’t be any obstacle in relationship.

Communicate with each other:
Communication is the key for any relationship. If you don’t say what you think and how you feel for certain subject, how your partner will be able to know what you are looking for. It is through communication that you can reveal your persona. Communication always makes a relationship stronger. It is also important to communicate honestly, listen patiently and say patiently. Blaming or accusing never resolves any problem. Each one needs to put oneself in another’s position and evaluate oneself appropriately.

Compromise – sacrifice - Surrender:
It is essential that the spouses are prepared to make sacrifices for each other. The partners should be ready to abandon their happiness for a marriage to work. If one of the spouse is rather self centered and not willing to make sacrifices, the survival is likely difficult. It is not necessary that the sacrifice be a large one; as many a time small sacrifices that matter the most. If wife doesn’t like smoking, husband should quit and on the other hand if the smoking is occasional wife shouldn’t mind it either.

Be Romantic:
Romance doesn’t mean Sex. Sex is included in Romance. Sex is the part of romance. Romance appeals to the five senses of human beings. Sight, Smell, Sound, Taste, and Touch. It’s the emotional, spiritual, and physical link between two hearts and two souls. Send romantic SMS to your spouse at regular interval. Say “I love you” even when not required. A sizzling kiss for no reason. As Kama Sutra is an ancient text that is one of the leading guides to sensual pleasure, buy a copy and gift to your partner. Romance creates togetherness. Romance is a spice in the food and it always makes the food delicious.

Eat Good Delicious Food:
Food is the heart of life. Food keeps you alive. It is said that the best way to anybody’s heart is delicious food. And I am telling you, it is true. Sometimes nothing inspires more than a mouthwatering meal and sweet treats. Prepare a simple yet elegant meal for two or a tray of appetizing mini desserts. Experiment with different types, different continents. And yes, never forget something sweet at the end.

Respect and Praise Each Other:
Who doesn’t like praise and respect? Generally we all are loaded with responsibilities and stress and we take relationship for granted. During this course each of us feels ignored. To avoid such situations, you could make your partner realize that he/she is not being ignored or unnoticed. You can do it by expressing small things. Giving compliments is a great way to let the other know that you care for your partner. “Looking sizzling today.” “I loved your thought.” “You look slim and fit.” Surprised gift of a single Red Rose may please your partner. It is not the flower, it’s feelings behind the flower that works. It shows how you care for her. Wife can do something husband loves most. So praise, respect and conquer the heart.

Spend Quality Time:
These days the importance of things can be measured with the amount of time spent on it. It happens that couples spend more time initially in a relationship. Later they get busier with other things in life. When this happens it is necessary for both to sit down and make a priority list. Spending less time together can cause couples to drift away. Take a break - take a vacation together to break the monotony. Spend at least 15 minutes a day together. If you have small kids, hire a babysitter even though you are at home. You can keep your cell phone off for a day. Go for a quiet evening at home once a month. Spend quality time with each other because this is the most treasured gift you can give to your sweet heart.

Say Sorry Whenever Required:
We are human and we make mistakes. When you realize that you have done something unpleasant, never hesitate to apologize. I know men generally don’t like to say sorry. But to keep your relationship going and save yourself some pain, you have to do this. Sorry is a magical word. It removes the doubts and clears misunderstandings. Make a habit of saying sorry whenever and wherever required.

Surprise with Affectionate Action:
Go beyond the expectation. Do something affectionate, which your partner never imagines. Plan a romantic unimaginable romantic getaway. Reserve a Hotel Room and spread rose petals on the way that leads to candle lit Jacuzzi. Write a Love Letter addressing your wife and post it to your own address. Go for some sexual fantasies. Take salsa lessons, get tickets for a live concert and go for a date. Use your imagination and creativity to surprise your partner romantically.

Make Your Bedroom Romantic:
Bedroom is the most romantic place in the world. Your goal should be to create intimacy in a room in such a way that they make both you and your partner feel relaxed and close.
Color has a very strong and subtle effect on our senses. Colors can evoke powerful emotions in us. Lighting sets the mood in a room instantly. To create a romantic decor you should probably go for dimmer mood lighting. Bed is where mostly all actions take place. It has to be comfortable. Fabric should be luxurious and cozy. Try to find pieces of artifacts that evoke the intimacy. Scent is also a powerful stimulant. Experiment with different fragrances of your choice. Finally, keep a copy of Kama-Sutra, an ancient guide to sensual pleasure.

Have Sex Regularly:
Sex is the ultimate joy in the world. There is nothing more enjoyable than sex. Sex is the basic ingredient in unification of man and woman. It’s a need of human being as food, water and air. Sex keeps you close and intimate. Even scientifically it has been proved that sex keeps us healthy. So to brighten up your relationship, have sex regularly.

We all are humans with different minds, different opinions, different philosophy and different approach towards life. When people with different kinds of minds get to gather at one place; conflicts are bound to take place. But any crisis in marriage can be resolved with love, respect, understanding, patience, trust and faith. We just have to keep in mind that Marriage Is Not Culmination of Romance; Marriage Is Beginning of Romance.

Angel – literally pulling - brought her mother out of the Kitchen and made her stand in front of Daddy. Husband and wife gazed at each other strangely as if they are seeing after ages. Angel chirping said: “Happy Wedding Anniversary to both of you…”

Drops of tears swelled up in their eyes. Angel said resolutely: “Dad, Kiss Mama… and Mama you kiss Daddy…”

They turned their gaze at Angel, unaware of detachment between parents - she looked cheerful. They turned to each other started sobbing as if they realized that they fail to appreciate each other and were regretful. Sobbing turned to weeping and he took hold of her into his arms. They let the grief get out through their eyes, then extended their hands at little Angel and she cheerfully encircled her hands around them.

Outside the wall glass, the falling snow was stopped. White thick gloomy clouds had been dispersed. Sky was clearer as if it was making a way for sun to come out. Faint golden rays from the horizon were filtering through the glass and illuminating the hall as well as the life.

It was beginning of new life…

Well-known and controversial Author Salman Rashdie has declared that marriages are not necessary and that women gear up for big day just to wear a WEDDING GOWN.

He said: “Girls like it, especially if they’ve never been married before — it’s the dress. Girls want a wedding, they don’t want a marriage. If only you could have weddings without marriages.”

These are the words from Indian-origin writer Salman Rushdie. He doesn’t think marriage is “necessary”. He also adds: - “It’s strange, given that I’ve been married four times, but I actually don’t think marriage is necessary,” Salman said in an interview for Elle magazine.

It’s really shocking!

A writer is as good as God, who shapes up the characters with different beliefs, different ideology and put them on the paper and creates a fictional world with certain positive purpose which inspires society to be better human being. A writer has certain responsibilities in our society. A writer’s thoughts should improve the way of our life.

“Sir” Salman Rashdie Sahab - whether it’s a east or west - let me tell you, we are born and brought up in a society where marriage is believed to be a sacred institution and it should be given due respect. As a writer, you have certain responsibilities towards the society in which you are living. You have forgotten them completely. How a person like your stature can make such kind of irresponsible statements and attack on marriage institution as a whole.

One of my friends told me: “After all, what one can expect from the person who tied knot for four times and looking for fifth!?

He is right. Absolutely right.

A small joke: What a name Salman Rushdie? Salman RushDie… isn’t is funny & suggesting us for something great that he has in store for himself.

As per our mythological scripture, God created a Man (Adam). Man was alone for a time, became frustrated. There was no one for him to identify with. To identify with him physically and psychologically, God created a woman as man’s companion. Slowly tremendous longing to be together was born between Man and Woman. They felt incomplete without each other. With the fleeting time, the euphoric feeling of being attracted to each other was named as Love and Love became the integral part of our existence.

And then with the evolution of Man Kind, Human became selfish and self centered. Alternate views on Love, Grabbing and holding mentality, and identity crisis started to take place and created conflict between Man and Woman. Loving and being loved for long time turned out to be complex.

However today, love is stimulated by the waves of infatuation. By putting little extra efforts, you can compel others to fall for you. But as and when the real persona of an individual surfaces, we get upset. When other’s behavior doesn’t match with our expectations, we feet a bump. When we don’t see our dreams coming true, frustration steals our happiness. The waves of infatuation fall apart. Our Love starts disappointing us. Instead of bond, disagreement gets into our relationship.

Today we are looking for not only euphoric infatuation; but a feeling which deeply connects to two human beings. We want to sustain those euphoric feelings, but we can’t. We want to deepen bonds between us; but we are not able to do so.

In our consumer society, everyone is carrying the bundle of expectations on their heads and package of dreams in their eyes. Everyone is taming identical thought process. In giving it a try to match the individuality, falling in Love is often easy but sustaining our Love has become difficult.

If we try to figure out honestly, we will observe that the problem lies within us. We are holding out our attitude, mentality and our views in our hands. Our self-esteem doesn’t allow us to give up. The first and foremost step we have to take is to surrender. We have to get a rid of our self-centered attitude, throw away our views, our identity and our self-esteem. It is difficult; but not impossible.

Talk, Talk & Talk, Never Accuse:

Blaming your partner will worsen the situation. Don’t accuse, just talk. Talk to each other! Talking helps keep your perspective on what’s important in your lives together. Positive conversation will carve the way out to the path of resolution.

Understand Other, Not Yourself:

You have been walking on the wrong way for long time. Don’t think about yourself. Just try to understand your partner. Try to figure out what He/She is looking for. Visualize the situation from your partner’s perspective. This will definitely help you understand other.

Have Patience, Avoid Rush:

Patience always compels others to realize. As this change over of personality takes time, don’t rush. Rush will stop the process of change over.

Compromise, Don’t Confront:

When reaching to the conclusion, avoid sticking to you guns. Confrontation at all times worsens the situation and takes you back to the square. If you compromise, your partner will also follow you.

Give, Don’t Expect:

Give Away! Give away without expectation. If both of the characters try to give something away to each other without any expectation, it will automatically reduce the bitterness.

Keep Your Love & Romance alive:

You’re not going to get the life ever again. With due respect to each other love your partner at your best. Love is only element that keeps your life healthy, happy and worth living.

Life is very short. Every one lives for themselves. Real is the one who lives for others. Let’s try to be a little human. Let’s try to put a little smile on someone’s lips and then experience the joy of that smile. I bet you will feel life worth living.

My Dear Friends,

Do you think it is worth to waste time trying to search a better alternative as your life partner?

Let me know. I’m awaiting your feedback.

And yes, if you have any Relationship issue, please let us know, we will try to resolve.

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry with these
facts as well. [whoevr is alrdy married, cn also mk a note of these facts……]

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are; Who is earning almost as much as you do; One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are; One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life; One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you
sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn’t want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won’t like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you; One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities; Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t, simply because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met; One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her; One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this… …..